In the third instalment of our light hearted Men’s Style Sins series. In this issue we dive deeper to uncover the less obvious style, etiquette and fashion atrocities that men unsuspectingly commit. Some overseas guests may not immediately understand these sins, however I’m sure you’re able to draw comparisons.
1. Runners (for running) or ratty sneakers with your suit
We never said looking good was ever going to be comfortable, so don’t try to break the rules by wearing runners with your work suit. The most common offender of this style sin is the city office worker. All too often we see these ‘efficient’ people donning a pair of Brooks and heading to the tram or train. Dress to kill, not to out-run Ussain Bolt.
2. Mug refilling of the common take away latte
I’m going to immediately piss off the environmentalists with this sin, but brining your office coffee mug to get your morning latte is a style shocker. Spotted all over the city, these men often travel in packs so you cannot miss them. Love your latte, but leave the mug in the office next to the ficus and inspirational poster.
3 – The Coupon Guy
With all the daily deal websites popping up, it’s no wonder there’s a rise in this low quality behaviour. Nothing spoils a classy dinner like the man who pays with a coupon. Keep your coupons for buying online, where everyone can agree that saving 10% on your next Mr. Porter purchase is a winner winner chicken dinner.
4. Owning and/or operating a ‘Beach Tent’
Now remember, this sin is null and void if you have kids!! If you don’t have kids and enjoy a day at the beach in your beach tent, then think again. We’re all for slip, slop and slap, but cowering like Hobbits in a plastic tent is not how summer should be spent.
5. Travesty T-Shirts
Nothing burns quite as deep as guys knocking around in Travesty brand t-shirts. We have a cultural phenomenon here in Australian of football / AFL players who are often seen in this brand. Recent sightings lead me to believe they’re often purchased by unknowing girlfriends. Regardless, they’re still a no no even if your frail Aunt Mavis purchased it for you.
6. The Job Stopper
Not content with your 15 tattoos, you decide it’s time to add one “where everyone can really see it”. The Job Stopper is the term given to a tattoo on an area of your body that guarantees any future employer or potential mate will question your sanity. We’re not against tattoos- for some people they make up for a squeaky voice (DB)- but if you’re going to get them, try and be a little undercover.
7. Crumpler Messenger Bags
Crumpler messenger bags were cool at the turn of the century. Not anymore. Once designed for those daring chaps who get around town as bicycle couriers, the Crumpler infiltrated itself into the wardrobes and work repertoire of many men. It’s time to ditch the courier look and invest in something real classy, like a Want Les Essentiels bag. Tips hat to Adrian Fernand.
8. The Lanyard Brigade
You’re working hard, going from meeting to meeting and you need to be opening doors like a boss… We suggest opening doors like an undercover boss. Keeping your access pass (or keys) conveniently around your neck is a no no. The same goes for those elastic ones you keep on your belt. When you’re out of the office, keep your lanyard and access pass in your pocket and ONLY use it emergencies, such as fires, hurricanes and all-out nuclear war.
9. The Finger Shoes
Heaven knows why such heinous things were invented. As if there weren’t already enough ugly shoes on the market. These whack specimens are often seen in the local gym on guys who are training for a role in Spiderschmuck 3D. Like drugs, just say no.
10. Jeans in the Gym
While on the gym topic, nothing burns me up like the guy who’s wearing his jeans for a workout. Whilst denim is known for its durability and style, it does not give itself the right to enter the sacred ‘house of weights’. What’s even worse is the cut-off jean phenomenon that’s sweeping society. Remember D is for denim and denim belongs in the disco.