There’s a lot of stigma around being a ‘call girl’. However, in recent years, everyone from SBS to The Huffington Post has covered the ‘escorts-as-bloggers’ phenomenon, unravelling the stereotype that all sex workers have been tricked or forced into their profession.
That’s not to say the sex industry’s illegal underbelly doesn’t exist. And when you consider that there are 20.9 million people sold worldwide into sexual slavery each year, and a significant percentage of non-trafficked (but financially struggling) women with mental health and drug problems working the street here in Sydney to make ends meet, you see why people are hesitant to believe the industry is fine, and that sex is a transaction like any other.
However, high end escorts like Samantha X show us that sex work is not always exploitative, and that there is a world where hard working, open-minded women freely choose to use their entrepreneurial skills (and their bodies) to make a lucrative living. What hasn’t yet happened though, is a myth-busting of the ‘creepy client’ stereotype.
Now of course, one need only read the New York Times’ recent piece on a ‘Sugar Daddy Date‘ gone sour, to see that, even in the ’empowered’ realms of sex work, there are risks. But according to Samantha X, Australia’s most high profile escort, in her experience, most men who pay for sex are just normal guys.
In an exclusive interview, Samantha told us the main ‘thing’ her clients were after was not sex. It was actually, “Companionship, intimacy and affection.” And her clients’ number one complaint was that, “Women just want sex to be over and done with a lot of the time, so they really are looking for an unrushed and gentle experience.”
“Believe it or not, it’s not porn star sex my clients want; they would run a mile. It’s quite often slow, gentle foreplay, lots of talking and for me, lots of listening.”
Having “seen” men from all walks of life (“From virgins to retirees, single to widowed, married or those who have open relationships!”) Samantha told us, “All the men I see have the same thing in common—they are kind, respectful and demonstrate manners.”
“I don’t care whether they are fat or have two heads, as long as they are those 3 qualities.”
“The kind of men that benefit from seeing an escort,” she added, “Are men who feel lonely, unloved, under-appreciated and perhaps who don’t have time to meet someone or who are in loveless marriages.”
Her Instagram posts humanise her clients, along with short, anonymous (occasionally hilarious) anecdotes, that give you an idea of the men she sees.
But before you get all carried away with the saintly attitude of men-who-pay-for sex, part of the reason Samantha has had such a positive experience is due to her screening process, which (if you read any of her various “how to” books) she recommends any other aspiring call girls take.
On her booking website, she reminds would-be clients, “I choose gentlemen who demonstrate respect and manners,” and, “I don’t accept every client.”
“A text message with just ‘Hi, you available?’ etc will not warrant a response. I have a zero dickhead policy no matter how much money you offer.”
While the cynical among you might echo the sentiment of Sydney Morning Herald journalist Sam de Brito, (“It’s hard to know for certain what motivates people who seek publicity in the name of ostensibly noble causes while also plugging a product or brand”), it’s hard to argue Samantha’s insights don’t make sense: interacting with potential clients before meeting them in person allows you to filter out anyone dodgy.
Sure: the Patrick Batemans of the world could pretend to be sweet and charming over the phone—but you could say the same for any average Tinder date, which you’re not even getting paid for, to take the same risk.
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