Jane Austen said, “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.”
We say it’s a truth universally acknowledged that that single man is inundated every day with crappy dating advice that will never find him a wife (or anything else he’s looking for). Cosmo says women want one thing. The pickup artist community says women want another. With that constant barrage of conflicting advice, it’s no wonder guys are so confused.
You could argue that all those angles are needed because every woman is different than the woman who came before, and you wouldn’t be entirely wrong. It’s true that there’s no magic bullet that will work with every woman, every time. However, despite those differences, there are certain traits that are as universally attractive as it’s possible to be. And the good news is that they can be developed.
Here are 6 things men can do to be more attractive to women.
#1 – Be Confident
Confidence is the firm belief that success is achievable. Confidence is the unyielding conviction that you can get to “yes.” Confidence is self-assurance that doesn’t rely on external validation. It’s awareness of your strengths and sticking points, along with the belief that you can work to increase the former and overcome the latter. It’s also the #1 tool in your attraction toolkit. A confident man radiates happiness, assurance and enthusiasm, which naturally draws attractive women to him. If you don’t feel confident yet, fake it ‘til you make it – just make sure you don’t overdo it and cross the line from confidence to conceitedness.
#2 – Be A Little Mysterious
There’s a reason all the ladies love Bond. He takes ‘mysterious’ to a whole other level. Getting to know someone new is the best part of dating, so don’t rush it. Take your time with the discovery process. You don’t want to date a woman who comes off as needy or clingy, and she doesn’t want to date a man who’s like that either. Building rapport should be a constant push-pull process. Give a little so the connection builds, then hold something back. Wash, rinse, repeat. Also be sure to maintain an interesting life outside of dating – the more interesting your life is, the more women will want to be a part of it.
#3 – Take Pride In Your Appearance
Obviously we had to mention this one. You’re selling yourself short if you think appearance is the only thing that matters, but you’re kidding yourself if you think it doesn’t matter at all. The thing is, it’s not about looking like Beckham or Brad – it’s about honing your personal style and looking like the best possible version of yourself. Good hygiene is a must. Shower, brush your teeth, and don’t neglect your grooming regime. Do your laundry. Smell nice, because smell is strongly linked to attraction and memory. Dress well, and if you’re not sure what that means, we know someone who could help you figure it out.
#4 – Be Able To Hold A Conversation
Allow myself to introduce, myself… Much has been written about the importance of nonverbal communication, and we certainly aren’t going to argue that body language isn’t a huge part of social interaction, but let’s face it – if all you did was sit silently across from a woman and gesture at her all night, you probably wouldn’t get very far. At some point, you have to open your mouth and let words come out. Focus on asking questions, which shows genuine interest in getting to know your date. Steer clear of boring job interview-type queries (What do you do for a living? Where did you go to school?) and questions with yes or no answers. Opt as often as possible for open-ended inquiries that encourage the conversation to continue.
#5 – Be Able To Tell A Story
In between asking those questions, you will be expected to talk about yourself. This is how dating works – she shares something about herself, you share something about yourself in return. That’s rapport at work, gentlemen. When a comedian takes the stage, he doesn’t just say whatever’s on his mind. He has his act rehearsed. You can take the same approach to dating. Have three good stories on hand that you can count on to entertain and engage, and tell them passionately. Laugh, smile, gesture, vary the volume and tone of your voice. Pro Tip: People are generally more interested in stories about people rather than things.
#6 – Develop Hidden Talents
No, we’re not talking about learning the ‘wrist watch’. Do you speak a second language? Can you cook? Do you have a pilot’s licence? Do you do volunteer work in your spare time? Cultivate your interests, whatever they are. Women love it when you can do or speak about something with knowledge and enthusiasm, even if they have no idea what the hell you’re going on about.
There’s just something about passion… it’s undeniably sexy, even if it’s not a passion you share. Besides, why wouldn’t you want to do things that make you a more interesting, well-rounded, fulfilled person?
Do you notice a trend here?
These tips aren’t tricks to open conversations or canned lines that’ll seal the deal. This is less about what you do and more about who you are, because that’s what real attraction is. You don’t want to be a robot firing off lines it’s been programmed to say.
You want to become the most charismatic, charming and desirable version of yourself. Focus on these things that naturally make you a more attractive person and you’ll see a difference everywhere, from the bar to the boardroom to the bedroom.
EXPERT TIP – Chris Manak, Dating Coach
Being attractive to women is not something that you do; it’s something that you are. Or in most cases, it’s something that you become. Most men who radiate that addictive allure that women are drawn to were not at all born ‘a natural’, but rather, at some point in their lives they made the conscious decision to step up and improve themselves.
It’s a mindset, a way of life.
Tricks and tactics can be great for getting you to take action, but ultimately they’re just the vehicle by which you will travel down the path of confidence. Get out there and approach women, make the effort, talk to that cutie in the supermarket. Just say hello. It really is one of the most natural and simplest things on the planet – a man to attract, and to be attracted to, a woman. Become the best man that you can be. Work on creating a life that you’re happy to wake up to, while at the same time working on your dating skills.
Get out of your comfort zone. This will lead to one inevitability – you will be more attractive to not only women, but to everyone.