Taking a lady friend on a date to the zoo seems like a sure bet (aw, cute animals!)…that is, until you arrive at the ape exhibit and she realises there’s barely a difference between you and your primate brethren. “Is he going to ask me to pick insects out of his hair in some kind of social grooming ritual?” she’ll wonder, as you contemplate whether throwing feces is an appropriate way to handle a confrontation at the office.
No, hirsute gentlemen, you are better than that. Get your hands on a beard trimmer, take your gal to ogle the reptiles instead, and rethink your professional conflict management strategy stat.
Philips BT9280 Laser Guided Trimmer
Think your trimmer is accurate? Think again. It ain’t s—t unless it’s got a frickin’ laser beam on it. The BT9280 from Philips uses a laser guidance system to project sharp lines of light across your face, so you can pre-align your style before trimming the hedges. For even more accuracy, the BT9280 features a zoom wheel that locks in your chosen length setting and a dual-sided reversible trimmer.
Things your girlfriend likes: well-kept facial hair. Things your girlfriend hates: the mess left over afterwards. Keep your bathroom clean and your love life intact with the Remington MB6550, a grooming kit that uses built-in vacuum technology to suck away cut hairs after they’re clipped. Stubble won’t get trapped in the trimmer, your sink will be hair free, and you won’t be slapped with a sex ban for your messy ways.
Wahl Lithium Ion Grooming Station Li+
There are certain times when ‘quick’ isn’t a good thing (speaking of the goings-on in your bedroom), but face maintenance isn’t one of them. The Wahl Lithium Ion Grooming Station Li+ uses revolutionary power technology to provide a 1-minute quick charge for beard trimming emergencies and, when you’re not in a hurry, the rechargeable lithium ion system generates up to 150 mins of cordless use from a 1-hour charge.
Braun Series 7
Braun is tough to beat when it comes to creating quality devices, and the Series 7 Beard Trimmer is no exception. Its 2 smart trimming attachments let you customise your look with 12 length settings, which is probably at least 10 more style options than you’ve ever considered for your facial hair. If you’re often on the move, this one also comes with a protective travel case and an automatic worldwide voltage adjustment.
Philips Norelco 7300
Like the Perfect 10, the perfect stubble is eminently desirable yet exceedingly elusive. With the Norelco 7300, Philips hopes to end the oppression of the perfect stubble once and for all (you’re on your own with the women, but the sexy scruff should help). Its stubble comb has been designed specifically to get that 5 o’clock shadow look. Because it lacks frontal teeth, you get a better view of your handiwork when every detail counts.
Wahl Lithium Ion Stainless Steel
Now here’s a tool that looks like it means business. The Wahl Lithium Ion Stainless Steel features heavy duty stainless steel blades and body, 4 interchangeable heads, 8 combs and a few indispensable accessories. This sleek object offers up a 4-hour run time – meaning you could groom several of your hairiest buddies’ backs and your girlfriend’s cat, and still have juice left over to trim your own face. Not that you’d want to after that.
Braun Cruzer 6
And we’re back to Braun again. It’s like that crazy girl you dated during your misspent youth – you just can’t stay away. Except that a session with the Braun Cruzer 6 happens intentionally, by your own hand, and not because that aforementioned mental patient shaved your hair off in a fit of jealousy while you slept. Dark times. We suggest drowning the memories with a little retail therapy, with the Cruzer 6 at the top of your list.
Man of the present, meet beard trimmer of the future. Looking at the Trym II, you may mistake it for the latest Apple product, but you’ll just have to trust us that this isn’t an iDevice of any kind. It is, however, a sleek, minimalist addition to your bathroom that looks as good as it performs. It’s the full package – a pretty face, the personality to back it up, and a surprisingly low price point.