While most gents have their daily routine down-pat, there are a few little things that can sometimes go amiss.
And seeing as I don’t know you from Jack, consider me permitted to pull you up on some things – for self-betterment reasons, that is.
#1 Go Easy On The Cologne
Unfortunately, most gents insist they marinate their pores (and others close by) in the perfumed alcohol. Instead, let the goal be to apply just the right amount in all the right places to impress the colleagues and win over the girl. Know your pulse points.
The chest; base of the neck; behind the ears and finally, the wrists. Dab each point without rubbing so the fragrance stays molecular and therefore, lasts longer. Then, let the liquid mix with your own natural pheromones, creating something distinctly ‘you’ and never overpowering.
#2 Open The Door
Some women may be offended at having a door opened for them by a man, for fear of looking too dependent. But from experience, most find the traditional sentiment thoughtful and a cherished part of a date or a kind gesture between plutonic colleagues.
Two rules apply: don’t forget to keep opening doors for the same woman once it’s been established that you do in fact open doors for women; and secondly – don’t overthink it or will feel staged and forced. Think politely ‘au naturel’ when courting a woman. And you could be surprised where it takes you.
#3 Change Your Bed Sheets
Been a while since you’ve felt the brush of cool, fresh sheets on your skin? For most men, it’s been weeks. You may feel ‘clean’ before hopping into bed, but while you sleep the body deposits old skin, hair, bacteria and oils, which spoil your newly washed sheets from the very first sleep.
The solution lies in the regular changing and washing of your bed linen. If you’re a heavy sweater or quite sexually active, then once a week is best. Sleep alone and feel the cold? Every ten days to two weeks is fine. With sheets, be sensitive to odours, stains and graininess – washing more than you think you need to.
#4 Call Your Mother
No longer living under the same roof, quick chats with mum aren’t a naturally common thing these days so making the effort now, is important. According to research in the UK, most lads call their mothers weekly on Sunday or Monday between 5 and 7 p.m. with the average call length lasting 22 minutes.
Understanding why most mothers want to talk can help with motivation. So, I asked mine, who said: “Mothers worry whether their children are all right. And, second, they look forward to a chat.” A weekly chat with mum gives you grace to do your thing the other six days. And, the call might just make her day.
#5 Refresh Your Wardrobe
Nothing says stylish and sophisticated like a well-curated wardrobe. But before any new additions can be hung upon the rack, a little spring-clean is in order. The best piece of advice I can pass on is ‘keep, throw, store’. Keep pieces that fit you well, make you feel confident and that you wear at least once a week.
Store off-season clothing in separate draws for the next six months. Lastly, throw everything out not worn in the last two years, anything that doesn’t fit or is old and stained. All the ‘good’ clothes go to the Salvo’s and bin the rest, tout de suite.
#6 Be On Time
Whether it’s a phone call, business meeting, or dinner date, it’s not just a thing for ‘switched-on’ guys – being on time. The habit shows you’re dependable and trustworthy; shows you honour commitments and the other person’s time; and builds self-confidence and success.
Viewing your time as a resource like money will help with wasting it; seeing you become a man in rich esteem with his friends, colleagues and most of all, the lady. No one likes a late date.
#7 Play Wingman To Your Mate
You may already have the girl, so it’s time your single mate learns the joys. First things, know when your mate is going in for the kill, never standing between him and his potential prize. Then, leave your mate to tune without interruption, before sliding on over and slip into the conversation as wingman.
Start dropping “remember when” stories that include your mate, making him appear super fun and not too serious. Then, offer leading questions like : “Well, Dave’s studied economics and works at Macquarie, don’t you mate?” to give him the chance to talk about himself. With the chemistry oozing, leave them be – no one likes to be the third wheel.
#8 Take Digital Down-Time
Knowing how and when to use digital devices in the context of the ‘real world’ is important for relationships and stops you from electronic burn out. First detox rule: no screens 2 hours before bed and for 1 hour after waking. This means no email, Instagram or texts – giving yourself the time to wake up and wind down before and after bed. Implementing a no-phone rule in the bedroom (and toilet for some of you) will minimise the temptation to switch-on.
Next, plan a half or full day free from your phone on the weekends. That way you’ll look forward to catching up on the ‘feeds’ on Monday and actually relax on your day-off. Finally, when around ‘real-people’, put down your machine. Stop letting the urgent ‘ping’ of a phone detract your attention away from the stunning girl you’ve taken out to dinner.
#9 Go Out For Fun, Not To Pick Up
In order to meet girls, you have to put yourself out there. But head out without any expectations and see where that leads you. You’ll come across more care-free and confident with the ladies, as the pressure lifts to find ‘her’. Going out in a mixed group, which gives the impression that you’re a gentlemen and can be a friend to a lady when you need to, helps your case.
Next, get involved with the night: shout drinks, talk to strangers, take the conversation to where you want to take it. And dance, even if you’re bad. You never know who’s been eyeing you off from across the room, just waiting for the moment that you prove yourself worth chasing.
#10 Don’t Take Life So Seriously
If you don’t remember all the tips and tricks in being the perfect gentlemen, don’t stress: acknowledge your mistakes, move on and try again the next time. No-one likes a worrier, who obsesses over the past. We live in an imperfect world and when things don’t go as planned, don’t consider it a failure. Some of the greatest men took their time to succeed – think Mozart, Einstein and Churchill – so feel ‘good’ within yourself, no matter the circumstance. And, have a good laugh.