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Shut Up & Take My Money – Issue #27

If outdoor adventure is your cup of tea then you’re in luck; we’ve got the sweetest gadgetry this week to help you conquer Mother Nature in true gentlemanly swagger. First up is an insane ATV by Polaris which features indestructible wheels, a vintage speargun which also doubles as a wall-mounted hero piece and a €7,000,000 Ferrari. Our monies. Take it.

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#1 Polaris TerrainArmor Sportsman WV850 HO ATV
Kick off your working week with the TerrainArmor Sportsman from Polaris. Believe it or not, it’s actually built to work as opposed to just cruising pointlessly through fields at blindingly fun speeds (which we still recommend you do). The Sportsman can move up to 272kg on its steel rack as well as taking on any arduous terrain with its TerrainArmor non-pneumatic tyres, which is near impossible to deflate. Military grade panels are also used for robustness.
Price: $15,000/BUY

#2 Sipaboard Smart Paddle Board
A jet propulsion paddle board? Well now we’ve seen everything. The Sipaboard isn’t just smart by name with a lazy app attached to it – it actually has an electric motor built into the board to allow the rider to reach 3.5knots. The board is also inflatable for ease of packing with the jet motor also doubling as a compressor to inflate the board in just six minutes. The smart part? It’s Bluetooth 4.0 enabled meaning you can control the board from your phone or smart watch. Not a fan of bringing your prized devices near water? There’s also a controller built into the paddle. Now that’s smart.
Price: $1,450/BUY

#3 Mophie Waterproof Juice Pack
Looking for a portable backup battery? Looking for a waterproof case? Now you get both in one. The new Mophie Juice Pack H2PRO hooks up to your iPhone 6 to deliver 100% battery power on top of the phone’s existing and is also shock and waterproof. It’s made of military rated stuff so you can be assured you’ll have something sturdy, albeit a bit thicker.
Price: $130/BUY

#4 Orbit 20 Jellyfish Aquarium
Guaranteed to provide you hours of distraction, the Orbit 20 is a circular tank which houses one of the most mesmerising animals of the sea. Leave it at the home or in the office, the 23-litre tank can house up to ten jellyfish with LEDs that change colours by remote control. There’s also built in biological and mechanical filtration to save you on cleaning time.
Price: $389/BUY

#5 JBL Woody Magnum Speargun
Some call it a weapon. We call it one hell of a hero piece for the bachelor pad. The JBL speargun comes in an option of sizes from 29-inches up. They’re masterfully crafted in African Mahogany to give it the classic look worthy of a conversation starter. Not much the static display guy? Take it to the depths as your personal protection device against things that want to eat you.
Price: +$295/BUY

#6 1952 Ferrari 212 Export Barchetta By Touring
Another classic going up for auction by RM Auctions in Villa Erba on May 23rd is this 1952 vintage Ferrari 212 Barchetta. It’s a true collector’s item in every respect, being the last Touring bodied 212 Export as well as being a Targa Florio competitor in 1952 and 1953, and an entrant in the 1956 Mille Miglia. The price for a slice of motoring history?
Price: €5,500,000 – 7,000,000/BUY

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