The 90s fashion revival is barreling along at full speed whether you like it or not. Sadly, the style resurgence is driven by youthful whippersnappers too young to remember anything about the decade, and therefore doomed to repeat its sartorial tragedies.
Today we step back through time to revisit the 90s’ most memorable fads and fashion faux pas.
#1 United Colours Of Benetton
The Benetton boom was in full swing in the 90s, thanks to a series of shocking ad campaigns that covered controversial subjects like AIDS, Gulf War casualties, and capital punishment. Because nothing makes you crave a spending spree like internal organs and bloodied babies.
#2 Snap Pants
It’s one thing to wear these if you’re an actual athlete playing actual sports with an actual need for appropriate athletic wear. Otherwise, unless you’re an extra in Magic Mike and about to rip them away from your body, there’s no reason for pants to snap on and off.
#3 Popped Collars
Wearing an actual dick costume makes you look like less of a dick than this. Still, the preppy set of the 90s never met a collar they didn’t want to pop. Some men even dared to sport popped collars in layers, like the world’s most unappealing onions.
#4 LA Gear Shoes
They may have felt like wearing two bricks on your feet (and made you just as graceful), but dammit LA Gear shoes were cool. These things weren’t your measly Converse high tops. These were high tops so big they could double as moon boots. Bonus points if you had the kind with the light on the heel.
#5 The Middle Part Hairstyle
Every 90s hearthrob rocked this look. Even now, you can still picture it perfectly: that straight-as-an-arrow divide splitting your hair in two like a folilcular equator, while your mane spilled to either side in two glorious swooshes. Odes have been written to less worthy subjects.
#6 Metallic Anything
While some spent the 90s going plaid and grungy, others took the plunge in the complete opposite direction. The colours were bright. The materials were shiny. And if you were a boyband, your metallics matched exactly with your brothers-in-harmonising-arms.
#7 ‘Hypercolor’ Colour Changing Clothes
Hypercolor shirts contained a thermochromic pigment that changed between two colours depending on temperature. It may sound like a fashionable science experiment, but the end result was just an influx of scandalously-placed handprints.
#8 Denim Overalls
If it was cool enough for the Fresh Prince, it was cool enough for you, and denim overalls were definitely cool. The hippest wore them with one strap undone and the most daring (if that’s the word for it) ditched the shirt completely.
#9 Cargo Pants
Pockets sprung up on these things like zits on a preteen’s face. How unappealing is that second image? Exactly as unappealing as the first. What was anyone storing in all those pockets, anyway? Marbles? Spare wallet chains? Key rings full of Tamagotchis?
#10 Semi-exposed Abs
You think today’s shirtless mirror selfies are bad? Now imagine those same men, but without the courage to take it all the way. Half-assed abs baring dominated the 90s. We can only imagine what a hellish place a Tinder of the decade would have been.