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Shut Up & Take My Money – Issue #36

Your weekly digest of all things awesome has arrived. In today’s edition we’ve picked one hell of a road bike designated for Tour de France duties, a ingenious hot tub hammock and a table top clock which wirelessly charges your phone. Stop – money time.

#1 2016 Orbea Ordu
Orbea will be celebrating its 175th anniversary in 2016 and with that milestone comes a devastatingly quick time trial bike from the Spanish company. The Ordu is the latest wind-tunnel tested bike from a company that’s older than Coca-Cola and features a lightweight frame which is UCI approved.

It’s 194g lighter than their Ordu OME and speed was also on the agenda with claims of a 26 percent increase over the 2012 Kona Ironman winning Ordu Gold. The bike recently ran at the Tour de France and can be selected in five different sizes to suit any serious rider.
Price: $3,299 – $8,500/BUY

#2 Hydro Hammock
As if the humble hammock couldn’t be loved any more, someone decided to turn it into a hot tub. The Hydro Hammock is designed and crafted in Oregon using synthetic high tensile fabric so that it can hold 190-litres of water and two adults.

What it essentially becomes is not so much a hammock but rather a suspended pool, perfect for your favourite snow retreats or camping/glamping grounds. The unit also comes with an optional portable water heater system for the ultimate hot tub/Man v Wild experience.
Price: $260+/BUY

#3 TOC Vertical Record Player
Finding a vintage record player is cool enough for any man, but the re-thinking of an entire system? That’s just music to our ears. The TOC record player is exactly that, a vertical record player that is inspired by the Jurassic period – yes, like the dinosaurs.

Designed by Roy Harpaz, it was created with ease of use and clean design in mind. The result is a woodgrain, egg-shaped stand which holds the record and acts as the concealed receiver. It’s not all oldschool though, the TOC features slick LED sensor touch buttons which allows you to skip tracks. There’s also a carbon fibre brush that keeps the stylus clean and a set of bearings that allow TOC to play your favourite warped records.
Price: $TBC/BUY

#4 MB&F MusicMachine 3
Following suit of cool music players this week is the MB&F MusicMachine 3, which has an uncanny resemblance to a Star Wars Tie Fighter. The watch company who designed the stunning unit has cut no corners in crafting this piece of art which features full-bodied speakers and advanced sonic design to produce the finest decibels in classical music.

Movements are actually borrowed from MB&F’s watch department including finely tuned barrels, keys, pins and combs. You will also need your own auxiliary cord but for now you can see what the insane machine is capable of below.

Price: $TBC/BUY

#5 Wooden Qi Wireless Charger Speaker Clock
Do you hate having to plug your phone in every night before going to bed? Of course you do, Mr. First World Problem, you. The Wooden Qi may well be your answer to all the trials of morning rituals. Simply plonk your iPhone, iPad, Samsung or any other Android device onto the wooden unit and it begins charging like magic.

The gorgeous unit can also be paired to your device via Bluetooth to enable continuous charging whilst streaming. If that’s not impressive enough, there’s also a built-in mic for hands-free calls, premium speakers and stylish high sense touch keys.
Price: $150/BUY

#6 Triptych FANTASMALAND Decks by Nicolas Obery
Hang it on your wall or take it to the streets, the latest decks from Triptych are creations to be marvelled at. Based on your childhood heroes Mickey and Donald, the illustrations were penned by French art director Nicolas Obery who’s also done work for Adidas in the past.

His Fantasmagorik series includes a steampunk concoction of everything from insects and floral motifs, to burgers with serpents as their main ingredients. It’s a collection of the stunningly beautiful and frightening.
Price: $328/BUY

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