It’s the one time of year where lovers the world over get to prove their affection for one another. Valentine’s Day.
Short of being one of the most commercially viable days for florists, stuffed bears, restaurants and condom companies, Valentine’s Day is also the one time of the year where your partner expects a certain level of gentlemanly conduct. To the capacity in which you fulfil this is entirely up to you.
For a sure fire way to really rub them up the wrong way on this special time of year? Behold.
#1 Proposal Prank
A prank anytime of the year is fun and totally called for. On Valentine’s Day? It can become life threatening for a man. For this reason alone, we advise men to hold off on the pranks during Valentine’s Day, especially if it involves proposing for her hand in marriage in public. History (and Youtube) have shown us that nobody wins here. That’s not salt in her dinner, dude. It’s from her tears when you got on one knee and handed her the latest season of ‘Making a Murderer’ on blu-ray.
#2 Take Her To The Casino
The casino can be a double edged sword. Often lined with fine dining restaurants and dessert bars, it can be both the perfect place to take your significant other and the most dangerous. We can guarantee you that a good night out for your date who spent a good hour looking hot for you will not be too keen to watch you lose ten grand on the Craps table with your cousins. Bond James, you are not.
#3 Get Smashed
There’s a time and place for this. With your mates, with your dog, with your old man, with your
ex old acquaintance. A Valentine’s Day date is not the right place for drunken misconduct. The chance of doing something exceptionally stupid is just too high and the last thing you need is the person you’re taking out to hold your hair back whilst you hurl abuse and the night’s food at the gutter.
#4 “Forget” Your Cash
Come on, gents. You know the game by now. For gender equality purposes, let’s just say that Valentine’s Day can go halvies for couples who feel the need to. For the traditionalist’s sake, make sure you’ve got a credit card or cash on you. It’s more about respect than it is about proving a point. Be a gentleman and your brownie points will easily exceed your pride (and wallet stuffed with receipts).
#5 Send A Dick Pic
What are you, seventeen? Unless your date asks for one, don’t do it. It won’t get you any closer to action and seeing something that looks like Yoda’s foot before dinner is not a turn on for the opposite sex.
#6 Getting Caught On Tinder
Hey Romeo, why are you even on this date? Put your phone away. Your match is right in front of you.
#7 Inviting Friends
This is one of the most excruciating things you can do on Valentine’s Day to your dearly beloved. We get that you love your boys more than American cheese, but your date will not look favourably sharing a dinner table sandwiched between Bill and Ted. There’s also a two in three chance footsies could go horribly wrong here.
#8 Break Up
You can be a horrible human being on any other day. Don’t choose the one day where you should be enjoying each other’s company to call it quits. You won’t just be ruining the night but potentially every day of that date for the unsuspecting party. Keep it civilised. You’re a magnificent bastard, not an all out bastard.
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