Today’s society is often about manning the rat race whilst managing the term ‘likeable’ comes as an afterthought for men. Being a likeable gent doesn’t need to be an unattainable trait on the way up though.
Being gifted the traits of attractiveness, the natural tendency to be a social and gene pool luck have nothing to do with being likeable. It certainly helps, but there’s more to it than that and a UCLA study has found that likeability is often accounted to traits such as sincerity, transparency, and a capacity for understanding others. In other words, it’s all on a person’s emotional intelligence.
Here are eight simple ways to spruce up your levels of likeability without sacrificing your pride and jeopardising your life mission.
#1 Ask Questions
The people you converse with like to know that you’re listening. A major oversight in conversation is trying to figure out what you’re going to say next that you forget to listen to the person talking. By simply asking a clarification question, you are showing the speaker that you are both engaged and care about the subject. Respect is often the result of this but do remember not to ask repetitive questions. You’re not that kid in the backseat of a long drive.
#2 Don’t Judge
Being likeable and being open-minded comes hand-in-hand. It all comes down to approachability and having a trait of open-mindedness gives the impression that you’re more willing to listen as opposed to someone who has formed an opinion once they’ve walked into a room. No one wants to talk to that guy. In a workplace, having an open mind also leads to creativity so before you put someone down, realise that they could be the very help you’ve been seeking.
#3 Don’t Seek Attention
We all know that guy. Braggers can be spotted from a mile away. More often than not, these type of people are usually compensating for something else so they need a big and extroverted personality to cover for it. Being likeable doesn’t mean you have to be this guy. Simply speaking in a friendly and confident manner will give you all the attention you need along with the respect. So the next time you feel like telling everyone about daddy’s lifetime membership at the yacht club, spare a thought for those who don’t give a rat’s arse. Humility is all you’ll need to be a likeable cool cat.
#4 Practice Consistency
Whether it’s in the workplace or in relationships, always strive to be consistent. Likeability comes from one’s ability to stay on top of things and it allows those who interact with you to know what kind of response to expect. It’s all about reliability and ensuring your mood doesn’t affect how you treat others.
#5 Be An Expert Storyteller
Being a storyteller doesn’t mean attention seeking. Every man has a story to tell and when the right time comes for it, make sure it’s told in a sophisticated and light-hearted manner. As all people love a good story, the art of telling one takes a strong control of language and pace. Tell it right and you’ll easily be the most likeable chap in room.
#6 Greet People By Names
Greeting people by their names is often an overlooked practice in modern day conversation. “Bro”, “mate” and “homie” are fine amongst friends but in more formal settings, it’s important to ensure you use names. Research has shown that those you’re talking to feel validated when you use their names in conversation. Again, this likeability aspect comes down to the fact that you care enough to remember.
#7 Know When To Be Physical
Being physical can be a likeable trait if executed right. We don’t mean giving your colleagues shoulder rubs but rather acts like shaking hands and using the other hand to lightly touch another’s forearm (never go full Tony Abbott). Use things like this when exiting a conversation with someone you won’t be seeing in a while. It exudes sincerity and confidence without turning you into a creep. Proceed with caution.
#8 Add Some Fun To Passion
Passionate people often have crowds gravitating towards them and as per #5, these types of people always have amazing stories to tell. It all stems from passion, whether it’s through work or hobbies. People see it and are naturally drawn to it. Mind you there’s a very fine line to this as well. Showing too much passionate can make you come across as too serious or self absorbed. The key here is to balance that passion with a dose of lighthearted fun. Likeability here manifests itself in your ability to score goals whilst remaining accessible and approachable; a key trait in any workplace.