Plenty has been said about women who fake it (not any of your girlfriends, obviously), but it’s not often you hear about men who exercise their acting chops between the sheets. New research, published in the journal Sexual and Relationship Therapy, explores why men fake orgasms and how often they do it.
The study asked 230 Canadian and American men ages 18-29 to answer an online survey. All participants had been in a relationship for at least 4 months and copped to faking an orgasm at least once with that partner. It turns out, much like onion rings, it was hard to stop at just one. The men admitted to faking it in around 30% of all sexual encounters – most commonly during vaginal sex, followed by oral, anal, and manual stimulation.
What’s the deal with all the fauxgasms? And what does it mean for men’s satisfaction with their partners, both in bed and out?
The study concluded that men were most likely to pretend to climax to protect their partner’s self-esteem. Other popular reasons were to “appear sexy” when they’d had too much to drink and/or feel insecure about disappointing their partner. Now here’s where things really get interesting: the more a man faked it for those reasons, the higher his self-reported satisfaction was, both romantically and sexually, in his relationship.
It sounds odd, but if you think about it, there’s a strange logic to those findings. The more you care about your partner, the more you want them to feel good, and the more you want to spare their feelings when they’re at risk of taking a hit. In other words, your fauxgasm is a silent – or not so – way of saying ‘I love you.’