It can be an emotional minefield, navigating the dangerous waters of a new relationship and inducting a new romantic interest into the good (and questionable) avenues of your life. When it comes to your exes, however, how much DO you give away?
Is it a skeleton best kept in your closet, and far away from your contacts list, or is it perhaps better to lay all cards out in the early stages and address your inner demons and pending AVO’s head on? It really depends on the relationship, and your level of comfort with your new partner.
Yet, there are some no-go zones when it comes to spilling the beans on your past loves. Here are 6 things your girlfriend NEVER wants to hear about your ex. Listen and learn, gentleman.
#1 How Great She Was
You’d think this goes without saying, but it’s a conversation that tends to rear its ugly head when a man is perhaps not completely over his last love. Mentioning your exes incredible intelligence, witty humour, unforgettable rig and/or interesting opinions on the meaning of life isn’t going to do you ANY favours.
It’s not likely to make your current love interest feel great about herself and your availability and willingness to start up something new will be immediately questioned. We’ve all encountered amazing humans in our lives, but if they’ve seen you nude and/or met your parents, it’s best to leave their outstanding qualities in the depths of your mind, and never, ever, recreate a personal joke you once shared.. It’s a “had to be there” thing.
#2 How Crazy She Was
Maybe your situation was quite the opposite and you and your ex left on bad terms. If it was recent, we understand, you’re wounded, you’re still reeling and you’re considering a restraining order, but does your new girlfriend really need to be dragged into the Telenovela that is the mess to be cleaned up with your ex? We think not.
It’s advised to give a ‘bullet point’ rundown of the damage, but keep it to a minimum. Also, crazy attracts crazy, so keep your marbles in check if you’re keen to open your heart up to someone new.
#3 How Great She Was In Bed
Again, you’d think this would go without saying, but once again many find themselves digging out of a very deep grave once the sex-with-the-ex bomb has been dropped. Your new girlfriend will recoil at the news that your ex could bend herself into a pretzel in bed, nor will she like to hear “but my ex did it.” In fact, she would be in her right mind to leave your sorry arse that very moment. Even the mere suggestion of a better sex life with your ex is not only incredibly damaging to one’s self-esteem, but makes you Douche of the Year. Notches on the bedpost are best kept for convos with the boys.
#4 Your Parents Loved Her
Building and maintaining a relationship with your partner’s parents is pretty important when it comes to making a good impression and earning yourself some good karma. However, just because your ex was “like a daughter” to your parents and even they themselves bring her name up like there’s been a death in the family, try not to make this a point to your new girlfriend. It’s an unnecessary comparison that will torment her in all her future efforts with your parents. She doesn’t want to fill you ex-girlfriends big ugly shoes, anyway.
#5 That You’re Still In Contact
Unless you’re part of the small percentage of exes in this world that were most likely better off as friends to begin with, or you share a child and/or pet, there’s not much reason to stay in constant contact with your ex. If you are, letting your new girlfriend know isn’t the best idea either. It won’t make you seem ‘mature’ or like you’re being the ‘better person’, it’s just a bit shifty and suggests there’s some unfinished business. If on the off chance, you are actually just good mates with your ex, full transparency is best.
#6 Her Name
It comes in at 6th on the list because it’s downright cringeworthy and rather insane. We’ve all heard of tales of partners being called exes names, in bed, during an argument. Wherever, whenever, it’s never okay. Put that name deep into the vault of ‘shit not to mention’, because yelling out ‘Sarah’ in the throws of passion when you’re in fact, with a ‘Jessica’ is truly the lowest of all lows.