Shut Up & Take My Money – Issue #82

Full screen
1 of 6|Tyrannosaurus Rex Skeleton
2 of 6|Pong Table
3 of 6|Foldimate Clothes Folding Machine
4 of 6|Super 73 Electric Bike
5 of 6|Samsung Gear IconX Earphones
6 of 6|Louis Vuitton Portable Whiskey Bar

Your favourite gadget hit is taking it up a notch this week with some of the most extravagant toys money can buy. And you’ll no doubt need a lot of it to afford this outrageous bunch from this edition. Get comfortable as we show you six cool ways to mortgage your house.

#1 Tyrannosaurus Rex Skeleton

As a kid everyone wanted their very own Tyrannosaurus Rex. Given that the reptiles are long dead, your next best bet is a full scale dinosaur skeleton of the prehistoric beast. Well you’re in luck as this particular one called Roosevelt is going up for sale – if you can afford him. The four metre high and eleven and a half metre long skeleton is 45% genuine T-Rex with 135 out of the 300 pieces found intact. The remaining 55% is filled out with accurate replica parts. The skeletal frame is mounted on a custom steel hanger for convenience. Now to figure out which room you’d like it in.

Price: $2.39M/BUY

#2 Pong Table

The legendary arcade game known as Pong has finally reached its evolution in 2016 with the Pong Table. Everything about it is familiar to those who know Pong except that this is a 3D model game which has square paddles and a cube ball that is mechanically controlled via a joystick. So it’s basically like playing Pong in the real world. Scoring meanwhile is kept with an LED screen whilst retro graphics adorn the table’s design. The creators say it’s not for sale. We say people just haven’t thrown the right amount of money at them.

Price: $TBA/BUY 

#3 Foldimate Clothes Folding Machine

Sick and tired of spending the weekend folding your own shirts? Let technology lend you a helping hand with the Foldimate. The intuitive machine turns washed garments into perfectly folded garments ready to be stacked away. It works by having a user clip clothes onto a rotating rack which then sends the shirt inside a chamber. A series of robotic arms fold these shirts and spits them out at the removal tray, saving hours during a closet clean out. It even softens, de-wrinkles and sprays your favourite cologne in the process. There is a God. Watch this uninspiring video to see how it works.

Price: $TBA/BUY 

#4 Super 73 Electric Bike

Now you can look badass on two wheels and save the planet. The Super 73 Electric Bike is inspired by the cafe racer scene but looks notable different with the absence of a bulging internal combustion engine sandwiched between the black powder-coated steel frame. The Super 73 instead uses a 1kW electric motor which can get riders up to 45km/h. It’s no road warrior but perfect for deliveries or as an urban get around to replace the conventional bicycle. Disc brakes are included in the package which is a good idea considering the fat all-terrain 4.75 inch tyres. The battery pack has a 32km range without human pedal power whilst a thumb throttle and LCD display makes for easy riding. For the hipsters there’s even a cup holder, a bottle opener and USB port as well as a host of colours to choose from.

Price: $1,800/BUY

#5 Samsung Gear IconX Earphones

Samsung aren’t normally recognised for their cutting-edge earphones but this could soon change with the very versatile Samsung Gear IconX Earphones. The audio device takes the functions of both a fitness tracker and headphones and packs them into one neat little wireless package for pundits. The 4GB of internal storage also ensures that a phone is not required to be on your body when being used for a tune-filled exercise regime (there’s still the Bluetooth streaming function if that’s what you prefer). Further up its sleeve are built-in sensors which can record data such as heart rate, distance, speed, and the calories burnt. Keeping in line with its versatility is a carry case which also doubles as a charger to provide two full charges before you need a USB port. The Gear IconX is yet to be released but we’ll keep you posted.

Price: $TBA/BUY

#6 Louis Vuitton Portable Whiskey Bar

Everyone’s heard of a cool whisky bar but when luxury fashion label Louis Vuitton gets involved, you know it’s going to be something lavish. This particular Louis Vuitton Portable Whiskey Bar is actually a discontinued item from the 80s which is sure to bring a touch of class to any outdoor dining experience. It’s perfectly maintained and in a barely used condition. The exterior sports Epi leather along with gold-plated rivets, latches, a lock and the original key. Opening the box will reveal green suede lining alongside a silver-mounted whiskey carafe, four whiskey beakers and a thermos ice bucket.

Price: $52,000/BUY

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