We’ve all been there. One drink too many and suddenly booty calling every past, present and future relationship seems like the best idea you’ve ever come up with. Perhaps you’ve gone a little too far in a string of texts, you’ve sent the wrong text to the wrong person, or you’ve just straight-up minced your words with no way of ever regaining dignity. Relax, it happens to the best of us.
You have a few options. You can either wallow in self-pity, hope to god that the person on the receiving end of the text message gets amnesia or spontaneously combusts, or you can follow these quick and easy ways to recover from an embarrassing, and soul-destroying text in magnificent bastard style.
#1 Acknowledge It
If you messed up BIG time and still need to maintain some sort of contact with your drunken text victim, one option is to just acknowledge it. It’s a scary thing to do, but didn’t you mother ever tell you ‘honest is the best policy’? If someone wants to know why they received 25 missed calls, 1 slurred voicemail and 13 single emoji texts, they have every right to know the truth. You were D-R-U-N-K. Diffuse the awkwardness, explain your embarrassment and use the monkey with its hands over its eyes emoji, if you must.
#2 Cover It Up
If speaking the truth just ain’t your style, you can always channel the deadly sin within and lie about the whole thing. A popular option is the old ‘friend took my phone’ storyline, or ‘left my phone unattended at a party’ scenario. But a word of warning if you are going to lie: make sure your story is foolproof, and the ‘friend’ really does exist to back you up on your porky pie.
#3 Ignore It
Ignorance is bliss, right? Well, if you’re okay burying your head in the sand, ignoring the embarrassing text exchange altogether might just be the right option for you. Some people, in a moment of rare inebriated clarity, will delete the embarrassing text before bed and wake up like nothing has happened at all. It’s not the most ‘mature’ way of dealing with the situation, but let’s be honest, that ‘you up?’ text wasn’t very mature, either.
#4 Own It
Surely, somewhere in the world, an embarrassing, misspelled drunken text has flourished into a lasting romance. Okay, maybe not…but it’s worth a shot. Unless you’ve sent something truly horrible, why not make the text your own and ‘just go with it’? Laugh it off, soak it up and say it was all part of your master plan in getting someone’s attention. There’s no guarantee that this will work, but if you’ve got too much pride, it might be your only option.
#5 Laugh It Off
If your mates found out about your over-the-top texting behaviour, there’s no chance they’ll let you live it down, so join in on the joke. They say laughter is the best medicine, and in this case, it could be your hangover cure…or at least something to soothe your regret a little. This option is best if the person you sent “I love you” to last night a) can take a joke as well or b) doesn’t bear too much thinking about.
#6 Learn Your Lesson
If you’ve considered all of the above and are think it’s all either ‘too hard’ basket, or pointless because there’s no going back from sending nudes to your boss and co-workers, there’s only one thing left to do: learn from your drunken mistakes. As the Chumbawamba hit of 1997 says, “I get knocked down, but I get up again”, and it’s solid advice for anyone who likes a drink or two, minus the shameful messaging. Next time you’re painting the town red, just turn your phone off. Your friends will understand and any other drunk text victim will merely think you’re phone is dead – it’s a win-win situation for all.