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5 Pointless & Awesome Things Men Need To Know Today [19.09.16]

We hope you’ve got multiple browsers open to mask the fact that you’re reading this week’s best pointless facts you never asked for.

Whether you’re curious about the smartest celebs, man’s first shave, or what technology is likely to kill you first, we’ve got the answers. Enjoy.

Celebrities Who Are Smarter Than You

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The Emmys are in full swing at the moment but rather than focusing on the ‘who wore it better’ crowd, we figured we’d give a hat tip to some of the industry’s brightest unsung heroes according to Business Insider. From Yale graduates to Ivy League actors and scientific journalists, these are ten of Hollywood’s leading celebrities who could probably kick your ass in an IQ test.

  1. David Duchovny, attended two Ivy League schools and graduated with a B.A. in English literature from Princeton University and Master’s in English literature from Yale University. He left behind his Ph.D studies after he was booked for a beer commercial in ’87.
  2. Kevin Spacey, topped his high school before going on to study at the prestigious Julliard acting school. Today he is the master of dark comedy and is a staunch speaker across national media conferences on the future channels of entertainment distribution.
  3. Edward Norton, is a two-time Oscar nominated actor who studied history at Yale. Before brawling dirty in Fight Club, he was a consultant who helped run his grandfather’s non-profit Enterprise Foundation in Japan which provided capital and expertise for affordable housing. Whilst he was there he learnt Aikido and how to speak fluent Japanese.
  4. James Franco, the go-to stoner guy in Seth Rogen films isn’t as baked as some would think. A young James Franco was quite the mathematician in school and interned at military defence firm, Lockheed Martin. Since then he’s had a habit for picking up random college degrees including those from UCLA, NYU, Columbia University, Brooklyn College, Warren Wilson College and Yale.
  5. Jordana Brewster, first burst onto the scene in 2001 with The Fast & The Furious and continued to ride its success into the decades whilst tentatively leaving Hollywood to study English at Yale. The self-professed nerd was also the granddaughter of former Yale President, Kingman Brewster.
  6. Ken Jeong, before he was asking Bradley Cooper an co. to “suck on these little Chinese nuts”, Mr. Chow of The Hangover was a Doctor of Medicine at UNC Chapel Hill. He would treat patients in the day before taking on stand-up gigs at night before being discovered by Judd Apatow.
  7. Matt Damon, played a closet genius in Good Will Hunting but little know that he actually wrote the film as an assignment for a playwriting class at Harvard. He later dropped out and eventually went on to make the film with childhood friend Ben Affleck.
  8. Natalie Portman, the Academy Award winner has a bachelor’s degree from Havard, speaks six languages and has twice been published by scientific journals. In an interview with the New York Post she said, “I’d rather be smart than a movie star.”

When Did Men First Shave

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There have been multiple accounts of man’s first encounter with the razor but these are the most common reports from recorded history of beard shaving according to The Guardian.

  1. Analysts of fashion pictures have said that beardlessness arose from young men during the 1890s in the lead up to WWI. Beards in the trenches would often harbour lice but the French in particular refrained from shaving. Arguably the original hipsters of the day, they were labelled the “bearded ones” for their long beards during battle.
  2. Another claim was that shaving came from the Romans and Ancient Greek times. Statues of Alexander the Great around 500 BC show his warriors as beardless men, propagating the theory that shaving off one’s beard would prevent the enemy from using it as a hand hold in battle.
  3. 16th century poet Christopher Smart, wrote: “The shaving of the chin was an invention of the people of Sodom to make men look like women”.

What Women Notice About Their Male Housemates

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Living with the opposite sex in a big city is not uncommon today. But have you ever wondered what women actually think about their platonic (sometimes) male house mates? Wonder no more. Esquire recently did a study and found these top ten corkers.

  1. Your random eating habits: Cereal for dinner, burritos for breakfast…no food is of time sensitive limits when it comes to men’s eating habits. They also noticed an inordinate degree of home delivered food as opposed to home cooked food.

  2. Men don’t knock: Men tend to burst into rooms or bathrooms unannounced and this isn’t because they’re rude. It’s more so because of their casual approach to life in general. Have a question? Find someone who can help answer it. It’s a primal male instinct that can’t be quelled even if the other party is having midget sex behind close doors.

  3. Men take a shit for at least half an hour: Women often wonder what happens when men take ages for number twos. Did they fall in? Or do they just love the feeling of plastic to ass? Most female house mates have even heard their male flat mates watching Netflix on an iPad whilst on the can.

  4. Men won’t always do the heavy lifting: The misconception that having a man around to make moving big things easier is a lie. Most male flat mates will help where possible but most of the time if they don’t feel like it there will be a lame excuse like: “I picked up a heavy book yesterday and did my back in.”

  5. Hanging underwear around the house will freak men out: Ever seen the Blair Witch Project with those cursed hanging stick men? Hanging underwear is the same. Men for some reason are mortified to see women’s underwear hanging around the house to dry.

  6. There’s always something in the fridge to drink: Cold beers, spirits, you name it, he’ll drink it.

How Many Australians Wreck Their New Phone In The First Six Months

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The studies are out and it’s not good. Tech21 has found that one in five Australians will damage their new phones within the first six months of ownership. We’re looking at you, iPhone 7 owners. More specifically the study revealed that:

  1. Millennials are almost twice as likely to damage their phones than anyone else
  2. The most common way of phone breakage is dropping them on the floor (35%) and dropping them in water or spilling liquid on them (40%)
  3. The most common instances of millennials (18 – 35-year-olds) breaking their phone include being under the influence of alcohol, dropping it in the toilet and when on holiday.
  4. Others most likely to ruin your new phone includes pets (6%), partners (11%) and kids (11%).

Technology Most Likely To Wipe Out Humans

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Humans have been on Earth for around 200,000 years now with the only real threat to humanity being ourselves (war) and the vast array of technology we’ve built. If you’ve ever worried about your microwave coming to life and strangling you mid-sleep, then this will make it worse. These are the top ten human creations likely to wipe us out.

  1. Nuclear Missiles, countries with them: Russia, United States,China, India, Israel, France, North Korea, Pakistan, United Kingdom
  2. Bioengineered Pandemic, natural diseases have killed millions in the past but humans have since begun to modify these natural diseases into something a lot more sinister. Recent research on bird flu has demonstrated that its contagiousness can be deliberately increased.
  3. Artificial Intelligence, we’ve all seen Terminator and The Matrix but nothing can really prepare us for the day when intelligent entities become too good at achieving their goals. All it can take is an anomaly in the goal posts (misjudgement in parameter) for things to go terribly wrong.
  4. Nanotechnology, has been good for things like the development of biotechnology or applications which require atomic or molecular precision. On a darker front, some crazy person could utilise its technology to create next generation arms via 3D printing. Newer weapons will also be smaller and more precise with things such as “smart poison” which can act like a nerve gas but seek out its victims.

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