Face it. Not everybody on this planet is wired to regurgitate rainbows and sunshine for the amusement of others.
More specifically, if your idea of a good day at work is hanging out with the pot plants whilst you trawl through memes in peace, then congratulations – you’re officially a people hater. Finding a career that benefits this lone wolf work life is often harder than it seems, especially if you have the tenacity to call out potential clients for being fat.
Thankfully those “people skills” that most jobs harp on about are overrated, according to new data from the Occupational Information Network.
The firm which forms part of a US Department of Labour database recently completed an analysis on 947 occupations, rating a list of jobs which scale from 0 to 100 based on human contact and pleasantry with others. These jobs were then averaged out to determine which were the highest paid roles (in Australian dollars).
It’s probably fair to note that not all of these people in these jobs are assholes; they’re simply the highest paid in their industry which requires the least amount of social engagement.
A word from the Editor-in-Chief: “It’s nice to finally see people who hate people given the right kind of career path. Had I not started D’Marge, I would definitely be working as a poet with a penchant for drinking Gin in the mornings under a tree.”
Geological Sample-test Technician
Average salary: $73,682
Required sociability score: 56
Geological sample-test technicians have the fun job of testing and analysing geological samples, crude oils and minerals for traces of petroleum, gas, or mineral deposits.
Aircraft Mechanic/Service Technician
Average salary: $77,339
Required sociability score: 64
These people are charged with diagnosing, adjusting, repairing, or overhauling aircraft engines and components. They are also considered helicopter and aircraft-engine specialists.
Judicial Law Clerks
Average salary: $79,380
Required sociability score: 65.5
Not to be confused with prosecutors and standard lawyers, these highly paid minions assist judges in court by conducting research or preparing legal documents for cases.
Poet, Lyricist & Creative writer
Average salary: $79,830
Required sociability score: 52
Pretty straight forward but these people put word to paper in the form of scripts, essays, poetry, or song lyrics.
Photonics Technician
Average salary: $81,168
Required sociability score: 64
These lucky folk build, install, test, or maintain fibre-optic equipment. This includes lasers, lenses and mirrors used in spectrometers or interferometers.
Sociologist
Average salary: $97,730
Required sociability score: 65
Believe it. Studying human society can be a much rewarded job. These workers examine the groups and social institutions that people form. This includes social, religious, political, and business groups.
Statistician
Average salary: $106,144
Required sociability score: 64
These workers are natural born numbers people and are responsible for designing and applying mathematical or statistical theory in order to collect, organise and evaluate numerical data for use in practical information.
Biochemists & Biophysicists
Average salary: $108,847
Required sociability score: 65.5
These smart cookies conduct research on chemical and physical principles of living organisms. This includes biological processes such as cell development, growth, heredity, and disease.
Web administrator
Average salary: $112,941
Required sociability score: 64.5
They manage web environment design, deployment, development, and maintenance activities and perform testing and quality assurance of websites and web applications.
Geoscientists
Average salary: $118,850
Required sociability score: 64.5
Not to be confused with hydrologists or geographers, these workers study the physical aspects of the Earth including composition and structure.
Remote Sensing Scientist/Technologist
Average salary: $128,695
Required sociability score: 62
These workers apply remote sensing principles and methods to analyse data in order to resolve issues in natural resource management, urban planning and homeland security.
Environmental Economist
Average salary: $131,411
Required sociability score: 58.5
Merging both the environment and business ethics, these workers conduct economic analysis related to environmental protection and the sound use of the natural environment. This includes water, air, land, and renewable-energy resources.
Political Scientist
Average salary: $132,140
Required sociability score: 64
Science and politics? Indeed. It’s not surprising that two of the most intensive and boring professions appear on this list. these guys study the origin, development and operation of political systems. Did someone say ‘party’?
Astronomer
Average salary: $137,930
Required sociability score: 60.5
It’d appear that looking at stars can score you a good penny. Astronomers track, research, and interpret astronomical phenomena to find solutions to Earthly practical problems.
Economist
Average salary: $144,727
Required sociability score: 57.5
These office dwellers can often be found conducting research, preparing reports and making plans to alleviate economic problems which arise in the production and distribution of goods and services or monetary and fiscal policy.
Computer Hardware Engineer
Average salary: $147,563
Required sociability score: 64.5
Sorry, but this doesn’t mean a cool hacker. These intelligent people conduct research, design and develop computer equipment for commercial, industrial, military, or scientific use.
Mathematician
Average salary: $149,139
Required sociability score: 58
Think Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting or Russell Crowe in A Beautiful Mind but more serious and less cool. These guys research fundamental mathematics and the application of mathematical models to science, management, and other high intensity fields require problem solving.