Despite every dating taboo we’ve smashed, one remains irritatingly persistent – the romantic equivalent of the mosquito that insists on buzzing by your ear in the middle of the night, its whining bloodlust obliterating any hope of beauty rest.
We’re talking about dating while short. After a lifetime of being picked last for basketball and subjected to Napoleon jokes, you may have resigned yourself to singlehood.
But why let the vertically blessed have all the fun?
Good things do come in small packages – in fact, science says short men make better partners – so it’s time to get over your fear of height(s). Get a leg up on the competition with these tips for dating a taller woman.
Don’t Dismiss Her
Hockey Hall of Famer Wayne Gretzky said it best: “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” Don’t take it for granted that tall women are only interested in men who are taller than they are. Not only is it a tired stereotype, it’s an excuse for your own cowardice and insecurities. Your height difference is irrelevant if you have chemistry in other ways. She might even get off on being taller than you.
In the event a woman does reject you on the basis of your stature, consider yourself lucky. You filtered out a shallow person who wouldn’t be a compatible partner anyway. Tall bullet dodged.
Mental game is everything. Confidence is hot no matter how you stack up against a measuring tape, but it’s especially important for shorter men. How you see yourself is how others see you. If you act like your height is a hindrance, she’ll pick up on your insecurity and see you as less attractive as a result. If you own every inch like you’re Yao Ming, you ooze the kind of cool self-assurance no one can resist.
Your poise in the face of a taller date also sends important signals about your character. From a woman’s point of view, a guy who isn’t hung up on looking “manly” or feeling “emasculated” doesn’t give a s—t about arbitrary rules. He’s more likely to be comfortable with any other ways she bucks gender stereotypes – like earning more money – and with her ambition, intellect, talent, and confidence. He will never make her feel small in order to make himself feel bigger.
Don’t Bring It Up
For the love of Danny DeVito, don’t open with a comment, question, or joke about her height. Every guy has tried it, and to say she’s over it would be an understatement. That gorgeous Amazonian goddess wants nothing more than to be approached like she’s normal (because, spoiler alert, she is). No intro is less impressive than talking about the most obvious attribute about her. Instead, catch her off-guard by not bringing it up at all. Your refreshing take signals confidence and will make you stand out for the right reasons.
Don’t Pull A Cruise
Rumour has it Tom Cruise uses an arsenal of Hollywood tricks to appear taller, including standing on boxes, wearing lifts in his shoes, and cleverly framing shots to change the perspective. While it may work for a larger-than-life movie star, relying on height-enhancing gimmicks reeks of desperation in real life. Equally unattractive is overcompensation, so cool it with the humblebrags about your high-powered career and your monster member. A tall woman will notice your discomfort with the height difference and start to feel uncomfortable in return. If there’s one thing that’s unattractive in everyone, it’s bitterness.
Do Pull A Hart
Take a cue from one of Hollywood’s most successful pocket-sized celebrities. Kevin Hart has the presence of a guy twice his size (and the multi-million dollar net worth to prove it). It’s all in his attitude. “Anything that a person thinks they can say, I disarm them by saying it myself,” he says. “Self deprecation. I do it before they do.” Hart owns his stature with just the right amount of fearlessness, self-awareness, and humour – a combo magnetic enough to hold his own opposite David Beckham and woo his beautiful wife Eniko Parrish.
Highlight Your Other Qualities
Height is hardly the only thing you have going for you – and if it is, you have way bigger things to worry about than whether you’ll have a date for Saturday night. Put the spotlight on other things that make you awesome and let your A+ personality shine through. Talk about your travels, your hobbies, and your interesting career. Show off your sense of humour. Be attentive and chivalrous. Be the guy any man or woman would look up to, regardless of the length of his inseam.
Enhance What You Have
Unless you’re David Bowie, we don’t suggest trying to pull off platforms, but there are subtle ways to make the most of what you’ve got. Stand up straight with your shoulders back and your head held high (good posture is important anyway). Style your hair with extra volume on top and wear shoes with a slightly thicker sole. Avoid baggy clothes, cuffed hems, and horizontal stripes that will make you look stumpy. Instead choose more tailored items, perhaps with vertical stripes, and wear a solid colour from head to toe. A streamlined look can help elongate your body, while anything that creates a visual break truncates your frame.
Treat Her Like A Lady
She may be able to take you in a wrestling match, but she’s still a lady and wants to be treated as such. Tall women regularly complain that their dates don’t make them feel feminine, and while there’s an argument to be made that the idea that “taller = mannish” is societal nonsense, we’d never fault a woman for wanting to experience some fairytale Prince Charming shit. Make the first move. Be the big spoon. Don’t discourage her from wearing heels. Put your arm around her waist. Offer a hand as she steps out of a car. Sweep her off her feet in whatever way you can, since you might slip a disc if you tried to do it literally.
Don’t Just Tolerate, Appreciate
A tall woman has internalised all the same stereotypes you have. She’s been told that women are supposed to be smaller than men, that it’s a turn off if they’re not, that guys are intimidated by her size, that a genetic quirk she has absolutely no control over is emasculating and embarrassing. After years of hearing this baloney, her confidence may need a boost just as much as yours does. Do more than accept your height difference. Tell her it’s sexy – that it’s not just something you’re ok with, it’s something you love about her, just like you love her wicked sense of humour and her ability to quote Arnold Schwarzenegger movies.
Think Of The Perks
She’s easy to spot in crowds, you can share t-shirts, she can reach stuff on the high shelves, and she makes you look like a badass. Everybody wins.