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Shut Up & Take My Money – Issue #156

The home of irresponsible spending.

Full screen
1 of 6|HondaJet
2 of 6|StarkBoard
3 of 6|Valentino Rossi Custom Mexican AGV Helmet
4 of 6|Douchebags Black Camo Edition
5 of 6|Macallan Exceptional Single Cask
6 of 6|Weatherman Umbrellas

A lot of people don’t realise that the D’Marge moniker actually refers to ‘damage’. Why are we telling you this? Because it’s time to do your wallet some damage with this week’s coolest objects money can buy.

HondaJet

You’ve won at life and you’ve got the supercar. Now it’s time to step up your baller status with a pair of wings. Enter Honda’s latest (and super creatively named) HondaJet. The US$4.9 million aircraft is a bonafide private jet which packs numerous innovations designed to make VIP air travel faster, quieter, more efficient and more comfortable. For starters it features a range of over 2,200km between refuelling and can reach cruising speeds of up to 780km/h. Even the design has been given a revamp with a spacious interior featuring four seats and a lavatory that’s afforded by the repositioning of the engines away from the fuselage.

BUY $4.9M

StarkBoard

If Tony Stark could carve up the pavement on a skateboard, this would be his weapon of choice. StarkBoard crosses the design of a traditional skateboard with the mobility advancements of a Segway to make this one of the coolest self-propelling boards on the market today. Riders simply use their body weight to steer and drive the board as they would a normal skateboard without the need for a remote control. Learning how to ride StarkBoard takes just 3 minutes before riders can hit speeds of up to 32km/h with a range of 20km. Powerful HUB motors also ensure that riders can easily traverse up 15 degree inclines with ease or just cruise around with a backpack on. StarkBoard is equipped with LED lights front and rear and is also weatherproof to ensure its usability all year round.

BUY $549

Valentino Rossi Custom Mexican AGV Helmet

Nine-time MotoGP world champion Valentino Rossi has received his latest custom helmet design from AGV and it’s a sight to behold. Inspired by the vibrant colours and tradition of Mexico, the helmet features a design recreated in the same way of the Mexican art known as Huichol style. You can’t buy it but if you paid the Doctor enough, maybe just…

BUY $TBC

Douchebags Black Camo Edition

Norwegian freestyle skier Jon Olsson has taken his signature camo aesthetic to the latest collection of travel bags named Douchebags. This time around it’s a sleek black aesthetic which follows on from the athlete’s sold out white camo collection. The latest designs grace a number of carry goods including a robust boot bag, a smart backpack, a smart carry-on and weekend duffle. Now we just need the Olsson Audi to match.

BUY $119+

The Macallan Exceptional Single Cask

The best kind of whisky is the one you can easily share around with friends without the need to store it in a security vault. Whilst many premium whiskies are going the ultra-exclusive route to command eye-watering price tags, The Macallan have released their Exceptional Single Cask range which features spirits bottled in sherry casks between the years of 1995 to 2004.

Once bottled, the liquid gold presents distinct flavours across the range with hints of fruit cake, sticky sweet figs and strawberry jam appearing in the top of the range 1995 bottle. The collection will be limited release across the U.S and Asia. 

BUY $1,300

Weatherman Umbrellas

One of the strongest umbrellas you’ll ever wield in your hand. That’s what Weatherman Umbrellas is promising with its industrial-strength build which features a fibreglass frame and a mechanism which resists breakage and inverting in the face of fierce winds.

How fast? Teflon-coated fabric with vented canopies means it can take 90km/h winds. Oh, and there’s an integrated Bluetooth tracker which syncs with your smartphone so you’ll never lose a pricey umbrella again. FYI: It’s creator is a meteorologist.

BUY $65

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