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Shut Up & Take My Money – Issue #167

When money is no object…

They say you’re only as rich as the toys you own. Actually, no one said that. We made it up. But you could be happily broke if you do end up with any of this week’s tech haul. This is Shut Up & Take My Money.

Radinn G2X Electric Jetboard

No waves, no worries. The Radinn G2X is the Swedish outdoor company’s next generation electric surfboard, or “jetboard”, which can send riders up to 55km/h on standing water without the need for waves. Simply press down on the handheld wireless remote and you’re good to go for up to 45 minutes. Power is supplied via a rechargeable battery to make for quick breaks in between shredding.

BUY $12,170

Dolce & Gabbana x Smeg Toaster

Luxury fashion label Dolce & Gabbana have teamed up with Smeg to create a limited line of kitchen ware for the culinary hype beast. The collection extends to a cake mixer, blender, kettle and coffee machine but our pick is the trusty old toaster. Wrapped in D&G’s signature southern Italian design motifs, the toaster will happily look the part in any industrial styled kitchen. The appliances are now available for pre-order via Neiman Marcus.

BUY $TBA

Samsung S9 & S9+

Samsung’s latest smartphone challenger has arrived and it comes packed with the camera smarts to give both Apple and Google a run for its money. The device is slated as the most connected Samsung to date with a clear focus on images, videos and emojis.

The highlight of the device is a Dual Aperture lens which is paired with a low light camera to provide superior clarity even in the dark. On the entertainment front the phone comes with enhanced audio thanks to stereo speakers tuned by AKG that features Dolby Atmos to complement the edge-to-edge Infinity Display. Both the S9 and S9+ also come with an IP68 water and dust resistance rating alongside wireless charging.

The Galaxy S9 and S9+ will be available starting in March 16, 2018 and will be offered in Midnight Black, Titanium Gray, Coral Blue and a new hue, Lilac Purple.

BUY $TBA

Nokia 8810 ‘The Matrix Phone’

Whilst the modern world is enthralled by the latest and greatest smartphone, Nokia have looked back to their past for a bit of inspiration. HMD Global, the company with the rights to create Nokia phones have re-released the 8810, a slide-cover phone made famous by Keanu Reeves in The Matrix. Dubbed the ‘banana phone’ due to its curved body, the new 8810 will boast 25 days of battery power along with 4G connectivity and talks of a Facebook app in the works (it is a simple phone after all – that means no access to Android apps). The 8810 will also come in the same black hue as Keanu Reeves’ original with a bit of extra processing power in the form of 512MB of RAM and 4GB of storage. The screen is a simple 2.4-inch QVGA display whilst the rear camera is a 2-megapixel unit. Oh and there’s also the revamped Snake game which any Nokia owner would have wasted hours on.

BUY €79

Sony Xperia Ear Duo

Sony have debuted their latest earphones which are designed provide immersive music without drowning out the sound of your surroundings – something the world has been asking for since pedestrians have all gone blind. The Sony Xperia Ear Duo Earphones feature an open-ear design at the bud. Sound is sent to this point via a Spatial Acoustic Conductor which takes the sound created behind the ear before sending into the canals – all without disrupting what’s going on around a user. The earphones come with a rechargeable case and access to both Google Assistant and Siri.

BUY $TBA

Nerf Rival Minigun

Ok so some lunatic has finally gone ahead and made what Nerf would never dare to – a Nerf minigun which can fire 20 rounds per second at 70km/h for devastating fun. More specfically, it can fire at this rate continuously for two minutes thanks to the Rival’s 2,000 dart capacity which is hidden away in a sturdy backpack. Watch the video below for a further look at how and why it was done.

BUY $TBA

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