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Shut Up & Take My Money – Issue #172

From $45,000 whisky to Homer Simpson’s iconic donut.

The extended break was good, but now it’s time to get back to work and by work we mean blatant consumerism in the name of all things cool. Welcome to Shut Up & Take My Money, the place where dirty money goes to die a happy death.

The Macallan 50 Year Old

AU$45,000 can buy you many things like 15,000 hot dogs. But you’re better than the h-dog. Get The Macallan’s latest expression instead, a 50-year-old single malt scotch whisky which will only be released in extremely limited quantities of 200 bottles worldwide.

The liquid gold is presented in a solid oak box which bears the engravings of a special story alongside matte gold inlaid into the ’50’ statement. The whisky includes a sweet oak vanilla and blackcurrant note alongside a mandatory natural golden amber colour. Those keen to know what half a century of maturation tastes like need to wonder no more. 

BUY $45,000

Roam Robotics Skiing Exoskeleton

Exoskeletons have been talked about for years now in the military and medical fields. Today we can add winter sports to that fold with the world’s first exoskeleton designed for skiing. Roam Robotics created the wearable technology to superpower a skier’s knees, essentially paving the way for superior performance and endurance on the snow. 

The device is strapped to the thighs before sensors pick up the user’s intended movement, adjusting the torque and rebound via actuators in order to create an extra pair of quadricep muscles. It’s not self aware yet but it’s close. The Roam Ski is fully programmable and automated but can also take manual overrides meaning the user is always in control. 

BUY $2,500

Trak-tor

It’s a tractor built by the guys at Top Gear. Do we need to say anymore? Okay we will. Trak-tor is the brainchild of Friends star Matt LeBlanc, who thought it’d be a great idea to cram in a Chevy 5.7-litre V8 into the work horse. The result is a 500hp winged farming equipment which would likely do a horrendous job of sowing seeds. Its top speed is cool though with a maximum of 140km/h which makes this the world’s fastest (and most pointless) tractor. 

BUY $TBC

Marshall Noise-Cancelling Headphones

Marshall was born from an era of music royalty and now they have their first ever headphones with active noise-cancelling. Besides exuding cool vintage vibes, the headphones also deliver decent performance thanks to wireless audio and 30 hours of battery life. The design mimics the looks of Marshall’s classic guitar amp and comes with a guitar-inspired travel bag. 

BUY $269

Krispy Kreme x The Simpsons D’Oh-nut

It’s finally happened and it’s now available to Australian Krispy Kreme customers. That’s right, Homer Simpson’s favourite snack for almost 30 years has arrived in the real world complete with signature pink glazing and sprinkles. The collaboration marks the first time the long-running hit animation has teamed up with Krispy Kreme and that milestone called for an equally appropriate name – D’ohnut. They’ve even promised that the D’ohnut is no gimmick, ditching food colouring in favour of hand-dipped white chocolate truffle with a strawberry twist which is garnished off with rainbow sprinkles. I don’t even like donuts and I want one. 

BUY $TBC

Ron Arad Curved Ping Pong Table

It looks like a table from another dimension but in actual fact it’s just a ping-pong table – a curved one at that. Made of ten silestone quartz surfacing slabs, the table is as much an art piece as it is a sporting one. The slight curvature of the table is designed to endorse a slower game with longer rallies due to a more unpredictable ball trajectory. 

BUY $TBC

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