Last week, scientists found the longevity of a relationship can be determined by sexual chemistry the first time a couple have sex. In light of this, we decided to interview Heidi Gee, a leading sexologist, to ask how guys can impress their new partners.
With regard to the study, she says sex is just one aspect that influences how long a couple will stay together. However, she does admit, “The chemicals we experience during intimacy create lust, and as humans we want more of what makes us feel good.”
To give yourself the best chance possible of ‘clicking’ with a new partner, Heidi says the most important thing is to be honest.
“Communication is very important when it comes to sex. Ask the person what turns them on, have fun exploring each others bodies and spend time on foreplay.”
She added: foreplay doesn’t just happen in the bedroom. “It starts long before the sex begins, and can include great conversations, compliments, flirting, sexting, kissing, touching or going on a great date. These things all contribute to setting the right mood for sex.”
“Don’t rush or stress about whether you’re turning them on; that can be an erection killer. Communication is the key and play it safe.”
She also advises you, “Make sure your condoms are not past their use-by dates, and within easy reach.”
And if all else fails and you have underwhelming ‘first time sex’ with a new partner: is there any coming back? Or is your relationship doomed?
Ideally you would do this the first time round. But, especially if you are trying to make up for a poor first time, communicate!
“Tell your partner what you want (e.g. ‘I like it when you touch my/it feels good when you kiss my/I want you to lick me here…).
“If something didn’t work the first time try something different.”
She says sex toys or different positions could help. But really: don’t stress. “Just have fun experimenting because sex should be fun. Sex is more enjoyable if you are relaxed and communicate what turns you on.”
So there you have it. Whether you just want to improve your hook-up game, or if you’re nervously awaiting the moment you take a new relationship to the next level, put some of these ideas into practice and you might avoid the sexless fate of 641 Norwegian students.