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The Balvenie Fifty Will Set You Back £27,500, But It’s A Match Made In Heaven

You might have the expendable income of a Dollarmite platinum member but that doesn’t mean you can’t dream big. Shut Up & Take My Money is back for another week and we’ve got some serious toys to make you question life’s greatest trivialities. Like why do I need a inflatable floatie coffin? The answer is simple. Why not.

Pom Pom Coffin Float 

What’s cooler than summer? A morbid summer. Pom Pom is the American floats company which is aiming to make inflatable art for the masses of sun seekers. Their Kickstarter page will officially launch later this week but for now they’ve released images of one of their first products which is an actual coffin finished in hot pink. It floats, it comes with a matching coffin lid and you can shut out the world with it in the most horrifying way possible – with two fingers raised at the cloaked fellow whilst you kick back to a mojito and work on that tan. 

BUY $TBC

POC Omne Air

Swedish cycling brand POC are back with their latest helmet and it looks as slick as ever. The Omne Air is designed for both road cycling and general commuting without compromising on the sleek design that riders expect from POC. The helmet features a 360 degree adjustment system which is paired to POC’s patented oblique impact protection system. The Omne Air will be available from 2019. 

BUY $TBC

RiDroid CanguRo

Forget Terminator. RiDroid CanguRo is a robotic scooter modelled off a kangaroo. The three-wheeled device is designed to transport a single occupant in comfort like a segueway but more like a tricycle. It can also follow you around like a pet whilst carrying a passenger. Astalavista, baby.

BUY $TBC

When twin brothers Bob and Tom Schiller saw that bicycle manufacturing was all but disappearing from Europe, they weren’t too happy about it. So they took it on themselves to change it. Mokumono Cycles was born with bicycles manufactured entirely in The Netherlands. What’s interesting is their manufacturing process which also borrows from the automotive manufacturing industry to make processes more efficient. The unique body is made using mirrored aluminium frames that are welded together using a 3D laser. This is further paired with a floating rear stay and carbon fibre front forks which provide both strength, rigidity and light weight to riders. Running gear meanwhile is sorted with a Gates CDX Carbon Belt Drive System, Shimano 105 grade hydraulic flat mount disk brakes whilst a Brooks Cambium C15 saddle looks after rider comfort.

BUY $1,642

The Balvenie Fifty: Marriage 0962

American oak casks can do amazing things. Take The Balvenie’s latest expression for example, a drink which is created from four casks that have been aged for 50-plus years. The result is a flavour profile which draws on hints of brown sugar, toffee, and spiced ground ginger with a palate of oak, maple syrup, citrus, and nutmeg. 

“This was a chance to explore the furthest reaches of our precious aged stocks and see how their extremes could be controlled and combined,” said The Balvenie’s malt master David Stewart. “Despite enjoying more than 55 years in the business, I’m still discovering and learning new things about the science and art of whisky making.”

Only twelve bottles of the whisky will be made available in the U.K via Harrods, Hedonism, and Selfridges.

BUY £27,500

Take your office warfare to the next level with Nerf’s latest Rival gun which can fire 200 rounds of soft balls. Live in Australia? You’re not allowed to have these as customs will seize them as they’re deemed “too powerful”. 

BUY $TBC

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