What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom, right? Wrong. In modern society people like to talk and acts of intimate sex isn’t off limits. This concept brings us to a recent Reddit discussion which looks at why women have a tendency to talk about their sex lives in graphic detail to their female friends.
A quick disclaimer: we’re not saying men never talk about our sex lives – most do – we just tend to do it with less graphic depiction as men don’t want their mates picturing their partners naked. Or them going at it like a rabbit during high season.
So what are the biggest concerns these men have? The fact that their partner’s girlfriends may know every minute detail of their penis, their (under) performance and how kinky they can get behind closed doors.
It’s All About Female Bonding…Apparently
One female respondent explains that it’s all a bonding experience to share stories of similar experiences – an “advice circle” of sorts.
“Lots of ‘so what do you do with a too big dick’ or ‘I don’t know how to do this kink’ or ‘has anyone tried anal and has any tips to make it comfortable?’ type talk.
Other talking points include things like: “His libido is weirdly low, should I be concerned?”, “Anyone have ideas for valentine’s day?” and so on.
“I’ve talked about penis size, in both directions,” the user adds.
“He was pretty small but it didn’t bother me at all, I thought he was bomb in bed. I don’t know why but that guy’s dick was the perfect size to make me come from sex. It’s almost too big. I can’t do some of my favourite positions with it.”
Another female Reddit user said that some women use it as a way to brag about their partner.
“It’s partly stroking our own ego and partly shitting on the other person for not having a man like theirs. And sometimes us girls just like to talk sex. So we talk about our sex life.”
Simple enough. This at least gives men some idea of how much women are willing to divulge.
Sometimes It’s Just About ‘Problem Solving’
They say that men like to solve problems but when it comes to the bedroom some women have their own focus groups.
One female Reddit user revealed that, “in my friend group we aren’t talking about how big you are, or if you were really bad…we’re more talking about things that confused us.”
“Like my friend would message me to ask if anyone had ever had someone go soft on them, and if that means he’s not into her anymore etc. Or why he didn’t kiss me after our date, or something like that. It’s more about counselling than anything. We don’t have group chats ripping apart the guys we’re sleeping with.”
Relieved? Here’s more to comfort you.
Another female Redditor said that, “with my girlfriends, it’s not a play-by-play of the encounter. It’s more like ‘this odd thing happened have you ever experienced this?'”
A male Redditor then chimed in saying that their friends don’t need to know.
Her reply? “But I’m gonna tell ’em anyways.”
So it appears that your penis isn’t the talk of the town, it’s about your performance.
A female Redditor added: “I have never discussed my partner’s penis in detail to anyone, not even my closest friends. We just mainly talk about techniques, experiences and if we have/had any problems in bed. I don’t know what their partner’s penis look like either.”
Not All Women Do It To
You might be as surprised as we were to hear that not all are fans of divulging their sex acts to their female friends. The bottom line is that it all comes down to preference.
“I think it depends on the woman,” said one female Reddit user. “I have never shared details with any of my gfs, ever. My sister on the other hand…”
Other women called out the act as “immature”.
“I don’t talk about my sex life with my friends. It’s our private life they don’t need to know about it. Only someone immature discuss every detail like they are in junior high. Talk to your partner, tell them that it’s our sex life and your relationship, not just theirs…Men, be with a woman not a girl. You deserve privacy also in the relationship.”
Whilst some women say they don’t talk about it, others will as long as they don’t know the guy they’re referring to.
“I keep my sex life fairly private,” says the female Redditor. “I’ve only talked about size to people that don’t know who I’m taking about. I have had women tell me their experiences and I will answer questions vaguely if it’s something that they need to know my experience with. I also tend to keep my relationship problems fairly private, especially to those who are friends with both of us.”
And finally, the deal clincher.
“No one talks specifics as an adult. We talk about sex, but mostly vaguely, usually about frequency. We talk about childbirth in far more detail than we do fucking.”
What Men Think About It
Many men could care less. Especially those who are confident in their own skin, but according to the Reddit discussion there are those who are totally against it.
“I don’t know but my wife was in the habit of telling everyone about my expertise in certain areas of our sex life,” revealed one male Redditor.
“Some of our friends would get uncomfortable and she’d usually share stuff when I wasn’t around. I told her off one day and said that what happens in our bedroom is between us. She stopped giving out information, but I honestly would like to try some things in bed, but won’t even bring them up for fear of her running her mouth.”
And yes, men get insecure too.
“At the time, I asked my now-ex if she talked to her friends about our sex life. She said yes, everything. Everything?! I mean, if everything is great, then it’s ok. But if something like ‘he got soft in the middle of sex’ or ‘he couldn’t get hard’, that’s something I’m not ok with. Size, technique and visuals do not bother me.”
From a D’Marge perspective, we’re not entirely bothered by it. Women talk just like men and it’s just to varying degrees. We just tend to be believers of ignorance is bliss. But if you are the type of guy to be insecure about your bedroom antics, here’s the way to make sure they only have good things to say about you.