The Playbook For The Modern Man

These Savage Reflections On ‘Modern Love’ Will Make You Feel Better About Being Single

#Relatable.

It’s easy to blame your romantic failings on social media. And fair enough: Tinder’s shallow, Facebook’s dead and—if you do somehow land yourself a partner—Instagram is a minefield.

Don’t believe us? Just ask Sydney Morning Herald journalist Thomas Mitchell, whose most explosive story (in our opinion) last year detailed how his girlfriend caught him liking photos of a prominent influencer.

Suffice to say: whether you are a serial monogamist or a Platinum-level Tinderite it’s not easy balancing dating with the demands of the 21st century. But if you’d just put those career, family and technological woes to one side for a moment, we’d like to help you appreciate the absurdity of modern love.

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Enter: Elite Daily,  The Tasteless Gentleman and Sarcasm Only, three Instagram accounts dedicated to skewering everything wrong with life and dating in the social media age—the broadsheet cartoonists and opinion columnists of our time.

Here are their 8 finest masterpieces.

The “I’m In No Mood To Hear About Your Happiness” Story

 

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This guy has clearly had enough of oversharers and decided to make a stand. If you are a fan of Instagram slang then you will understand me when I say this post can be summed up in one word.

“Mood.”

The “I Don’t Do Paragraphs” Story

 

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See no evil, hear no evil. 😎

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Forget Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus, this post is all you need to understand the void between modern daters. Sort of. Still confused? Allow the following commenter to extrapolate…

“If women are so good at communicating, why can’t they summarize?”

The “Don’t Play With My Feelings” Story

 

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This man may enjoy a bit of light BDSM, but if you take more than an hour to reply to his text he’ll be upset for days. No joke. And judging by the number of lmfao’s in the comments this post, people can #relate.

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The “Positivity Guru” Story

 

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This one’s a doozy, and judging by the amount of tagging going on in the comments, people have ‘thoughts’.

“You.”

The “Rejected At First Sight” Story

 

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Ouch. Just ouch.

The “I’m Too Good For This Shit” Story

 

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A post shared by Elite Daily (@elitedaily) on

“I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of my awesomeness.”

The “My Friends Are All Growing Old & Yet Here I Still Am” Story

 

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A post shared by ecards (@sarcasm_only) on

The “I’ve Officially Given Up” Story

 

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Let’s be honest: we’ve all been here. The key is to just get up and keep scrolling.

“True, tbh.”

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