The Playbook For The Modern Man

‘Have A Nice Life’: Woman Reveals The Worst Double Standard She Has Ever Experienced On A Date

“After we made love we had a shower together and then got back into bed. That’s when he devastated me.”

Dating sucks enough without double standards. From emoji misunderstandings to first rendez vous nerves, it’s a veritable minefield out there.

But as one woman’s dating story – recently shared on 9Honey – reveals, it can get a whole lot worse than ghosting, paperclipping and even dogfishing.

But it doesn’t always start out like that.

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“My date with Pablo* was fantastic,” Hana*, whose name has been changed for privacy, told Victoria Bright, a journalist at 9Honey.

“He really knew how to show a girl a good time! We went out for drinks, then dinner, and then a walk on the beach, where he told me all about his family and his dreams for the future.”

So far so normal.

“I thought he was just divine and I loved his accent. It helped that he was also a gorgeous-looking man,” she continued.

“He couldn’t stop kissing me. Literally from the moment we left the restaurant he was all over me — not in a sleazy way, because I was so attracted to him I didn’t mind, but he’d be kissing my face, my arms, my hands, my neck.”

“It’s usually my policy to never go home with a man until I’d had at least two or three dates – especially a man like Pablo, who wasn’t like anybody I’d ever dated before,” Hana added.

But – long story short – they ended up hooking up at Pablo’s apartment: “The sex was out of this world, amazing! He was so loving and attentive and I just found him so attractive.”

This didn’t last for long, however; “After we made love we had a shower together and then got back into bed. That’s when he devastated me.”

“He said he couldn’t respect women who are ‘too easy.’ I was horrified. He made me feel worthless.”

“Yes, I’d slept with him on our first date… but what about the double standards? I was sleeping with him on the first date, but he was also sleeping with me on our first date,” Hana continued.

“I tried to explain how unfair he was, but he didn’t listen and didn’t care. I got out of bed right away and got dressed.”

Hana then told Pablo she thought he should be ashamed and that she wished she’d never met him, to which he smirked and said, “Goodbye, have a nice life.”

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Looking through Reddit, one finds Hana is far from alone. In fact, her story feeds into a broader discussion around double standards in dating – a topic which is regularly discussed (see here and here) by hundreds of people online.

What these discussions show is that while this is kind of ‘machista‘ attitude (fortunately) appears to be in decline, as younger generations become steadily less hypocritical, it is still more prevalent than you might think.

As the top comment on the Reddit thread, “If you think worse of a woman because she is willing to have sex with you on the first or second date you’re living a double standard,” shows, men who hold this attitude are actually losing out themselves, as well as unfairly judging the women who briefly appear in their lives.

“Been with my wife 11 years and we slept together first date. Really doesn’t mean anything if you save it till date 20 or give it the first date. People need to get over what anyone chooses to do with their own body.”

Couldn’t have summed it up better ourselves.

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  • RaveON

    going to be very honest, Pablo didnt really like her. You would never be that mean to anyone, especially if earlier in the night you thought she was relationship material. Not having sex on the first or 2nd date would have resulted in the same result happening after he conquered her. Trust me, he was totally playing her and used what he thinks is a good excuse to cut her loose. think about it. who would have an incredibly romantic night with a woman they might like or love, have sex and later say have a nice life? she should have realized immediately he was an ass and replied, I agree with you and feel the same way which is why I have no interest in seeing you again. Any guy I can conquer so easily is not worth my time. It was nice knowing you.
    He would have chased her forever, but after his shallow and heartless comment he isnt someone she sould ever want to date.

  • blacknwhiterose

    Women like the author contribute to these double standards and enable alpha douches like Pablo. Here’s the thing: if Pablo had turned out to be an inexperienced, socially awkward guy on the date, she would not have slept with him. But because “He was all over me … *because* I was so attracted to him *I didn’t mind*.”, so she spread like butter. Then she got mad when he had figured out and told her what kind of woman she is: a hoe. Hoes can only conceal themselves for so long. Hana is a bad girl and she got what she deserved, played like a fiddle by a bad boy. It’s funny how she refuses to acknowledge that she is 50% responsible for this encounter. What’s even funnier is that in 5 years Hana will have changed her tastes and will be dating a beta nice guy, making him wait several expensive dates, or maybe until the honeymoon before letting him sleep with her.

  • Aaron Campbell

    No double standards here. Women use men for free drinks and dinner all night long. Then, they’ll absolutely sleep with you just to get back at their boyfriend that they are fighting with. Give me a break. It takes two to tango. Did you expect to marry this guy? Take some responsibility for your actions. And yea, real crazy good looking dudes are many times douches. You had no idea?

  • Damtro Fan

    If for some reason you think you deserve a good man after this, you are dead wrong. You’re a slut that opened her legs too quickly. This is not double standard. Men can’t be sluts, only women can. Just like men are the ones that have to protect and provide, your value is determined by your virginity as a woman.

  • Merloc

    Well you might think that would have made him chase her..i can assure you it would not. There are men out there only willing to fuck and forget. They dont use excuses, they actually dont bother to call back. Guys like Pablo have a plan, its a simple plan, once executed – it shows us how much a woman values herself and how easy is she. If good looks & charm can land you in bed on date 1, then they can be friends at most but unsafe for long term commitment. Is it 100% foolproof, no its not, however this method simply reduces the chances of hooking up with the one night stand people. This pablo guy could have handled it much better but at least the woman now can decide if she wants to continue to go that route.

    Now the last paragraph by the person who said they are married 11 years – yeah well sure it can happen, however most men dont want to take that risk. To suggest to get over it is simply stupid since he is suggesting to not listen to gut instincts.

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