Guess what? The best sex is guided by rules. And we’re not talking ‘Kama Sutra Commandments’ or ’50 Shades of Guidelines’, we’re talking unwritten etiquette. Why? Because – even if you delight in breaking taboos – you will have probably noticed that despite society becoming more progressive, individuals tend to create more rules for themselves (and their partners) as time goes on.
As the women of Reddit’s ‘Sex After 30‘ group reveal, this is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, knowing your own boundaries can actually give you (and your partner) a much better idea of where to push, so to speak.
Not only that but the chicas over at Bustle have also chimed in on this topic, as well as the Muckrakers over at Metro. Drawing from these observations, as well as few of our own, we thus give you: the ultimate list of bedroom rules every man in his 30s (and every toy boy in his 20s) ought to know.
Crisp clean bedsheets or gtfo
Whilst many women report a major lowering of their expectations in their 20s, by the time you get a third of the way through life you really ought to have some decent linen to rumple, to the point where this is now a deal-breaker.
No ‘after sex’ expectations
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This shouldn’t be a feature in your 20s either, but according to Reddit’s Expectations After Sex thread, once you hit your 30s you should never assume that just because you’ve hooked up once, that person will want to do it again. Likewise, there’s (usually) no need for the ego-boosting, “Don’t want to see you again” text…
As Bustle puts it, once you’re in your 30s, “You don’t fake a damn thing.” Capische?
Similar to the above rule, this one also means that if you are ‘underperforming’ you are also more likely to receive a helping hand (or some curt instructions).
‘Dirty talk’ is a must
Apparently this is no longer a giggle inducer and a veritable turn on. Who knew?
No bizarre positions, thanks
Unless you are seen as the potential love of your one-night stand’s life, by the time they are in their 30s they are probably not going to risk not-enjoying themselves on your suggestion of a bizarre sketch you once saw on Instagram.
No phobia of sex toys, either
Intimidated by your partner’s vibrator? Congrats, you just came off as immature.