The Playbook For The Modern Man

Hidden Google Home Feature Could Reboot Your Sex Life

“Even when we ourselves fail to be sexy, Google Home picks up the slack.”

“Hey Google, activate sexy time.” When you’ve got Netflix, Instagram and Facebook yapping at the door, it can be hard to find the time to displace as much linen as you’d like with your partner.

Not every gadget is a relationship killer, however, as numerous individuals have taken to the internet to share. Recent among them is Gillian Sisley, who revealed on Sunday for Mamamia how Google Home changed her sex life in some of the best ways possible – with the help of a little known feature.

While the first change was PG: “no longer would my husband and I compete for who could hop into bed faster, leaving the slowpoke to turn off the bedside lamp that was further than an arms-reach away” the device soon prompted them into a little more M rated action.

“Spontaneous sex is easier now.”

Why? As Gillian explains, Google Home gets rid of the hassle of setting a vibe: “You know how, when you want to ‘get down to it’, there are certain sensory things you like to have in place first… like nice background music and sexy add-ons that just ‘up’ the atmosphere?”

“Google Home has you covered.”

Enter: your soon-to-be-favourite hidden feature. ‘Activate Sexy Time’, which Gillian says helped her and her “have some of the best sex of our marriage.”

“I recently returned from a five day business trip, and my husband was on his lunch break and just happened to be down the road running an errand… He hadn’t seen me since I got home, and we were both skittish for some good lovin’.”

“He texted me asking, ‘Activate Sexy Time?’ I replied with an eggplant emoji. It was on.”

“Google Home is a massive time saver. A two-minute drive away, I was informed by my husband that we had to be quick. I raced upstairs, and while bursting through the master bedroom, called out, ‘Hey Google, Activate Sexy Time,'” Gillian recounts.

“Immediately, Google began to initiate a sequence of tasks that I had pre-programmed with my husband months ago… The lights changed to a warm purple, and a sultry but hip playlist began quietly playing in the background, all while I threw on some deodorant, sprayed a touch of perfume, and brushed my teeth.”

“In the nick of time, I was at the front door, greeting my husband in an immediate, passionate embrace that had us speeding right back upstairs to the bedroom.”

In terms of the technicalities, this ‘sexy time’ feature functions off a free web-based service called IFTTT (if this then that), which creates chains of simple conditional statements called applets. Essentially: a way to automate your existing apps and devices to do things they wouldn’t ordinarily do.

As IFTTT explains, “Saying ‘OK Google, sexy time’ will dim Phillips HUE lights to 15% and set the colour to red. It will also play music from your android device. (if your android device is connected to Google home via Bluetooth, it will play through the Google home speaker) … enjoy.”

This feature has been lusted after for years, with the r/googlehome Reddit community engaging in a passionate discussion over how to make it happen last year, before it became an inbuilt routine on the device (which one Reddit user suggested should have come into effect earlier this year).

Anyhow: another smart feature which can get you ‘bouncing’ more often is the ability to link two Google Home devices so that you can whisper to your partner from the bedroom while they are sitting in the living room, and invite them up for some fun.

Perhaps even more impressive is that even when you don’t think to do this, Google lends a hand, As Gillian writes: “Even when we ourselves fail to be sexy, Google Home picks up the slack.”

“‘Hey Google, bedroom lights 1%.’ My husband instructs. ‘Ooooh, mood lighting?’ [Google asks].”

That’s one well-trained piece of technology.

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