Unshackle your tongue and unleash your dirtiest thoughts: it turns out roasting your partner makes them more attracted to you, a new study has found.
Aside from justifying that snide remark you’ve had jumping at your lips, these findings also provide a warning for verbal jousters. After all, you can’t just go insulting each other willy nilly or – as even the most comedic savants know – things will end in tears.
According to Dr. Science, the key is to ‘flirt roast.’ In one word: strategy. As in, on purpose (not because you’re actually annoyed), and light-heartedly.
“Make sure that not only your personalities mesh, but your humours do too – so no one takes offence, feels hurt, or gets defensive,” celebrity dating coach and podcast host, Laurel House told Cosmopolitan UK, in light of the research.
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“If you love making fun of your partner for never being able to decide on what to have for dinner, and they giggle along as well, you’re probably in the clear. (On the other hand, if you’re unwittingly getting snarkier at every little thing they do, that’s a different story),” the Cosmo article continued.
Specifically, the scientists found an interesting relationship benefit that occurs in couples that live to roast each other: you feel acknowledged. Something doubly important in this world of Instagram thirst traps and monogamish boredom.
“When you roast each other’s quirks, you are effectively pointing out the little, sometimes ignored sides to your personalities,” House told Cosmo. “Those quirks tend to be the things that you love the most about your partner.”
Read: an extended inside joke that shows you are aware of their insecurities or quirks and love them anyway (or more) because of them.
“It connects you and your partner.”
Not to mention, humour is one of the best ways cope with life’s curveballs (Cosmo even suggests you combine the two and “take your roast session to the bedroom,” adding that “it helps you to softly address the hard stuff”).
Just remember, always roast kindly… That way you can bring attention to something (like them liking their ex’s new profile pic) without causing an argument.