The Playbook For The Modern Man

The Question About Cheating No One Wants To Answer

“Either way I’m going to break up with him.”

Is there anything worse than being cheated on? Apparently there is, and one question recently posed on Oops The Podcast reveals one such example: “Would you rather your partner tried to cheat on you but was rejected, or [actually] cheated on you?”.

The podcast, hosted by US comedians Francis Ellis and Giulio Gallarotti, explores people’s most hilarious f*ck ups, and features a new guest each week. The latest guest is Remy Kassimir, also a comedian and podcast host.

 

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The mistake for the week is that Remy spent most of her life being unable to orgasm (something she has recently solved). But that’s a topic for another day. This article highlights a hilarious exchange sparked by the question Francis puts Remy towards the end of the podcast – one no woman really wants to answer.

“Would you rather your boyfriend tried to cheat on you but was rejected… or [actually] cheated on you?”

Ideally, you’d choose “neither of the above” but with Francis and Giulio that’s never the case. Fortunately, Remy had a clever strategy to buy time: “So, in one situation he’s a loser…”

“Either way I’m going to break up with him.”

“I’d rather he be a loser because then we break up and then he keeps trying and then I go on and flourish,” Remy decided, before immediately changing her mind, remembering that dating a failed cheater might feel worse to look back on than a successful one.

“I’ve been dating a loser the whole time.”

Francis then hopped in with, “Not only that but the person who rejected your boyfriend is… always going to think that they’re better than you.”

Remy, still indecisive, countered with: “But the person who [really] got my boyfriend also thinks she’s hotter than me.”

Touche.

“If he cheats on me fully with someone she’s like… there’s a superiority that comes with ‘I turned down the guy you’re in a serious relationship with'” Remy continued.

As Giulio then summed it up: “The first [hypothetical] is probably worse whereas at first value the second is worse.”

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“The second [where he actually cheats] could be a situation where he’s too fucked up… or he tried not to…”

“The first one… I’ve actually experienced before,” Remy revealed. “I found G Chats of an ex reaching out trying to hook up with someone and failing and I was still like: ‘I’m going to break up with him… you’re a loser.'”

To that Francis replied, “For me, I’d rather my girlfriend consummate the cheat. Keeping my ego intact is better served by my girlfriend being like, ‘Yeah I banged someone else’ and then I look at him and he’s like some super hunky guy and I’m like, ‘I don’t even blame you.'”

“I would rather my girlfriend cheat on me and pull it off.”

But do you want the guy to be cooler than you or not? This is where Giulio enters the conversation with a definite ‘no’.

“I want her to be on the decline – she has peaked, she is now on the way down… instead of – she has used me as a platform to achieve greatness.”

“What if your girlfriend cheated on you with an A List celbrity,” Francis then asked, “Because a lot of guys are like, ‘I wouldn’t even be mad if my girlfriend cheated on me with Leo.'”

“Those guys are losers,” Giulio said.

“That hurts even more. You’re making an admission Leo [Di Caprio] is so far superior to you.”

Food for thought…

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