We’ve all thought we’ve been right and actually been wrong. But sometimes we’re ‘right’ to the point where we will risk our carefully built five-year relationship over a screaming match about who’s turn it is to take the bins out.
Or is that just me?
Even if you’re shaking your head with disgust, according to Reddit, I’m not alone. Enter: the ‘Am I the asshole’ (AITA) forum, a fountain of internet wisdom where strangers cast judgement upon each other and occasionally go viral.
Three days ago a post, which is now trending, was made by a man who claims his wife had left him over one of the strangest arguments we’ve ever heard. Entitled: “AITA for telling my wife I wouldn’t shave unless she did,” the thread raises a number of questions every modern man needs to be ready to deal with in 2020.
“She’s the one who stopped shaving first…so I’m not apologising.”
Interesting but confusing. Allow us (or rather, Reddit) to explain. This is our anonymous hero’s story: “This has to do with genitals, so… sorry, heh. I’m M29, she’s F28,” he begins. “A couple weeks ago, my wife told me she was done with shaving her downstairs.”
“I said okay, because I really don’t mind. I mean yeah, I prefer her shaven, but I’d never really object if she said she was more comfortable not shaving. So, that was fine. It wasn’t even an issue.”
“During sex,” the man continues, “Every time we switch positions or something and I catch a glimpse of our junk, I just feel weird. I don’t even know why, but just seeing myself completely shaven while she’s not just makes me feel… raw? I don’t even know how to explain it. But, it kind of turns me off.”
“Once again, I don’t mind that she isn’t shaven. I just feel weird being the only shaven one. So, I stopped shaving. I didn’t really tell her, but I thought she wouldn’t mind as she had decided to do the same.”
The fact he needs to reiterate he “doesn’t mind,” some commenters reckon, suggests he actually does mind, with one writing: “I think wife heard ‘I’ve stopped shaving as a form of revenge. When you capitulate and balden your beaver, then and only then I nude up my nutsack.'”
In any case, the story continues: “A couple days ago, she asked me if I needed more x brand razors (I use a different brand of razors for my face and for my balls, it’s just preference). I said no, I was good. She looked at me confused and asked why I hadn’t shaved then, so I expressed to her my feelings of discomfort being the only shaven one during sex.”
“She asked me to start shaving again, and I said I would if she did. This is where shit hit the fan…”
“We got in a fight about it, and she accused me of being sexist and said that women shouldn’t have to shave just because men prefer it, basically just went off on me. It caused a rift between us and she’s now staying with a mutual friend (who also thinks I’m a huge asshole).”
“Honestly,” the man concludes, “I think this whole thing is ridiculous and I just want her to come home, but I’m a firm believer in not apologizing unless I know I’m in the wrong somehow, even if the other party is also in the wrong. And to be honest, I don’t think I’m in the wrong and I really don’t want to give into this. But, maybe I am and I just don’t realize it.”
The top voted comment in response to this story came in the man’s defence, calling his wife the asshole: “NTA I am a lady and a feminist (not that it matters) but you are asking for a level playing field this is not sexist. If she doesn’t want to shave that’s up to her and vice versa the fact that she is jumping to calling you sexist by you saying you’ll shave if she does is ridiculous.”
Others, however, were open-minded to reading the situation as ‘he stopped shaving as a form of revenge’: “Maybe she thought that this is his way of trying to force her to shave again. In this case OP [the man] should just try to talk to her again to clear things up.”