Linen rumpling is not known as a cerebral pursuit. But being smarter about sex could be the difference between a loveless marriage and one that makes your neighbours jealous.
To reach that point, especially when you are in the depths of a fly-blown relationship, you must put in some effort.
So what’s a couple to do? Well, if you’re savvy, you’ll seek expert advice. But counsellors are icky and boring and serious – or so the stereotype goes.
Though that’s not necessarily the case, if you can’t get that trope out of your mind, you can take a pew and listen to the following expert-approved tips for getting more bang for your buck.
Sex expert, author and columnist Tracey Cox yesterday penned a piece in The Daily Mail with 23 ways of “initiating sex” without feeling awkward.
While we don’t think all 23 are gold, we’ve chosen the most sophisticated five for you to browse.
Ban your partner from initiating
As Tracey points out, “If you’re constantly being hassled for sex, you don’t get the chance to miss it.” The solution? Whichever partner has the high libido must be banned from initiating sex, until the one with the low libido starts feeling it – thus creating a positive cycle.
“Power is a massive turn-on and if you’re the one who’s suddenly up for it and making all the moves, you’ll be surprised how turned on you’ll feel.”
Don’t wait for the perfect conditions
Though the celebrity magazines would have you believe you need several candles, a mood lamp, incense and the body of Kim Kardashian (or Chris Hemsworth) to seduce a partner in 2020, the truth is, seizing the moment could be the best thing for you.
“You sort of wouldn’t mind if you had sex? Don’t just ponder the thought, pounce on it – and do it as soon as you can!” (The Daily Mail).
Tracey says, “Studies show the more time that passes between having an idea and following up on it, the more likely you are to lose motivation.”
“Don’t let things like dishes or shopping online or ‘I’ll just answer that email first’ get in the way.”
Get creative with fridge magnets
“Each of you claim a magnet then move it once a day depending on if you do or don’t feel like sex,” Tracey says. “If the magnet is close to the top of the fridge, it means you’re extremely interested; if it’s at the bottom, you’d rather be doing your tax return.”
Wear sexy lingerie to bed
As long as it’s not a Borat costume, this is both sophisticated, surprising and effective. The only risk is they’re so tired they don’t realise you’ve done it.
Tell them you want them when they know they can’t have you
Bonus points if it’s accompanied by a raunchy changing room shot.