The Playbook For The Modern Man

Ridiculous Rants Prove Business Class Passengers Are The Worst People In A Crisis

As airlines step up hygiene measures, business class passengers complain about the lack of hot towels and ‘DIY turndown service’.

Complaining about business class looks bad at the best of times. Complaining about business class, then, in the midst of a pandemic, is akin to closing yourself off from the world, putting masking tape over your ears, and repeatedly playing “We Are The Champions” at top volume, exchanging “We” for “I”.

Or something like that.

In all seriousness, today we reached a level of absurdity that would make Camus spit out his Macadamia nuts with rage. That would make Sisyphus give up and go home. That would make even the most optimistic and forgiving among us abandon the pretence that, deep down, people are kind and sensitive and wonderful.

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The truth is, some suck.

Case in point: as over 180,00 people (at the time of writing) battle a potentially lethal virus, some pointy end passengers are whinging about their hot towel service being removed.

Never mind this is yet another way the virus might spread. Never mind hot towels are neither anti-bacterial nor anti-viral. Never mind Britsh Airways banned hot towels specifically to prevent the spread of the virus. ‘H’ wants his (radial) rub and tug.

Further complaints have come about due to downgrades…

… price swings…

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… and cancellations.

Oh, and there was also a business class review, before the Coronavirus had spread quite so far (the 17th of February, to be precise) which critiqued Air India’s silk pillows (“The silk-covered pillow was decently sized, although not very supportive or comfortable”) and “DIY turndown service.”

All this, despite Air India’s business class being one of the cheaper pointy end offerings in the sky, as well as renowned for being sub-par. In any case, the review was posted to Twitter by someone else who also disliked Air India business class, more recently (on the 5th of March).

While it’s tempting to write off all these complaints as the product of a society gone wrong, it’s actually – maybe – not our fault. After all: we’re hardly immune from having a business class gripe here at DMARGE. No, we reckon technology (and the growing expectation that if you tag a company in Twitter they have to give you what you want), to blame, for the rise of tone-deaf complaints.

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