The Playbook For The Modern Man

Crazy Bastard Launches Most Optimistic Lawsuit In History Against Apple

And is immediately shut down…

America is no stranger to ridiculous court cases. Take the kidnapper who sued his hostages for failing to help him evade the cops. Or the DC judge who sued a dry cleaner’s for $67 million for giving him the wrong set of trousers.

They’ve got nothing on this mad lad who just tried (and, sadly, failed) to sue Apple for over $1 trillion – more than Apple’s net worth. If he was successful, he would have become the richest man on earth, ahead of Jeff Bezos and Bill Gates.

In a court filing on June 1, Missouri man Raevon Terrell Parker alleged that in 2018 Apple kept his iPhone 7 after a repair, and used “special features” on his phone to develop features in iOS, Apple Insider recently reported.

Parker claimed that his iPhone had a special beta version of iOS on it that gave him extra functionality, and when Apple finished the repair, they actually gave him a different phone with a normal operating system, and kept his ‘special’ phone.

It’s not the first time he’s tried suing Apple over this 2018 incident. He also filed an almost identical lawsuit against Apple in 2019, with these absolutely ridiculous demanded damages:

Can I sue Parker for damaging my mentality with these ridiculous asks? Image: Apple Insider

Where did this guy learn how to negotiate? This is how we imagine it went down:

“2 trillion. Okay, 1 trillion. Wait, half a trillion. Fine, just some AirPods? That’s my final offer…”

Parker’s a lunatic but he’s got nothing on Mr. Anthony Purisima, who in 2014 tried suing the City of New York for $2 undecillion. That’s $2,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 (36 zeroes if you lost count), or more money that exists on Planet Earth.

And we thought Macbooks were expensive.

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