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‘I Won’t Tell My Girlfriend’: The Biggest Problems With Dating In Sydney

"So accurate it breaks my heart."

Dating in Sydney in 2021 sucked. And while our friends in regional areas have faced problems of their own (see: Australian Woman’s Embarrassing Encounter Reveals The Perils Of ‘Small City Dating’) there are a number of issues Sydneysiders have experienced this year that they have felt no choice but to vent about.

Enter: the following TikTok video, posted by Alessia Crissani. The video expresses Crissani’s frustration with the dating scene in Sydney.

The big problem with dating in Sydney.

Her main gripe seems to be the 5 kilometre rule, which was in place for much of lockdown. Crissani takes her followers through how she has been changing the distance settings on Hinge to take this into account.

Now: this isn’t the problem with dating in Sydney (it’s actually an important health measure). But it links to arguably the biggest problem with dating in Sydney, at any time – it’s quite a spread out city, with insular pockets of people in different areas.

Funnily enough, even in normal times, Sydney being such a spread out city, living too far away from a potential date was already a deal breaker for many.

“Literally,” one wrote in the comments of Crissani’s video. “People still date?” asked another.

Crissani is not alone in complaining about Sydney’s dating scene. As you can also see in the video above, Abby Elizabeth, another TikTok creator, expressed her frustration recently with dating in Sydney too, with a video calling out such behaviours as people on dating apps who just want to be friends with benefits, send dick pics and say “I won’t tell my girlfriend.”

It clearly resonated with people, with one writing: “she forgot the ‘don’t tell my sister,'” and “lmao I feel you fam,” as well as “we all screwed in lockdown” and “so accurate it breaks my heart.”

Another opined: “If you live in Bondi it’s even worse than this.”

It’s also possible these are just classic big city dating traits, some TikTok users pointed out.

Sexologist, relationship expert and host of the podcast Sex & Life Nikki Goldstein has previously spoken to DMARGE about many of these phenomena, telling DMARGE that Sydney is very open when it comes to modern dating.

Nikki told us, “You have to assume the person you are talking to online or starting to date is either dating or talking to other people online.”

If it’s a monogamous relationship you’re after rather than a casual fling, it’s fine, but Nikki says, “You actually need to address it because if not, it will be assumed that just because you go on a date, it won’t then mean they’re off the market. If you want to take things further after the second, third, fourth or even fifth encounter then you have to talk about it.”

Nikki also said that Sydney is a city where apps really are your friend: “I would say get on apps, Sydney is a metropolitan city but also an app city.”

Nikki reckons using dating apps is particularly useful if you find yourself solo in Sydney. She told DMARGE: “If you don’t have mutual friends it’s always really good to have a good profile on an app – let me stress the word good profile because you need to project yourself how you really are.”

Another piece of advice for dating in Sydney, according to Nikki, is try and meet people during the day (particularly relevant advice for 2021, too).

“Instead of walking up to someone in a bar, try a group paddleboarding class (if you’re a water person).”

Still feeling sorry for yourself? Never fear: further videos on TikTok show dating isn’t easy in Australia no matter where you live, especially in this Pangolin cursed year. Watch the video below to see the many other issues people have found with dating in Australia in 2021.

Dating in Australia in 2021.

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