Trying to see all of Australia in two weeks would be like going to the Super Bowl and leaving after two minutes.
But it’s not (just) because you would miss out on seeing the most of what the country has to offer, if you were to do that, that we don’t recommend it. It’s because you literally can’t do it. And it would be dangerous to try.
Why? Allow the following Reddit post to explain. Posted to the popular internet discussion forum a week or so ago, the post helps you envisage just how large Australia is. The post comprises of a photo, uploaded to Reddit’s r/interestingasfuck community, which is captioned: “A few of the sort of photos we use in Australia to try and explain to tourists you can’t do a lap of Australia in 2 weeks in a hired Camry.”
It shows a sign of the suburb Yuendumu, with a warning below it: “Next fuel service Halls Creek 760km.”
The image prompted a number of Reddit users to share their thoughts and experiences of driving long distances in Australia.
One wrote: “I used to work at a hotel pub in Halls Creek. We’d use a similar technique to deal with folks who were being rude or whatever…”
“‘If you don’t like it here, you can always go to the pub down the road!’ (The pub down the road was about 300km down the road).”
Another quipped: “imagine driving 300km and realising you forgot your ID,” while yet another made a rather rude suggestion: “Edge of the World’s Ass would make a perfect bar name.”
Video: Why You Can’t Drive Around Australia In Two Weeks
Another talked about a time when a Telstra employee rather ironically almost found themselves out of reception and out of luck.
“About 3 years ago I used to live on Mornington station in central Kimberley, and had this fella from telstra ring up trying to get to us from Halls Creek through the 4wd track over King Leopold Ranges (now Miliwindi, I know) in a Telstra van because his GPS told him to.”
“I kept telling him he’d have to go up to kunners then down the Gibb, ideally in something more robust, and that he would 100% not make it through a goat track that barely gets used twice a year and never graded. He just wouldn’t listen.”
“‘No, the GPS says there’s a road through!’. Never heard from him again (I assume he blew the job off, but you never know, might still be out there trying to get that van over the range!).”
The discussion also included various social media users asking what Australians do if they don’t have cars with giant fuel tanks.
“I get like 750km with a full tank… So I’m fucked,” one wrote. Another warned: “And a lot of the roads are rough, corrugated dirt, so fuel consumption is high.”
The solution? Jerry cans. And just general preparation and route planning. And it was on this note that the thread turned to some other concerns Australians had about tourists in Australia, particularly regarding safety.
One Reddit user claimed: “Tourists do not tend to get the dangers in our country,” citing The Murray River as one example.
“Very strong current, lots of submerged branches and debris and yet every Christmas especially someone who cant swim jumps in the river despite all the warnings.”
Another said it’s common to see tourists getting stuck in rips at the beach. They wrote: “Was leaving a surf fishing beach on the Eyre Peninsula. Sign says: ‘Danger: no swimming. Strong rips.’ Watched a whole party of tourists go straight into the water.”
“Yeah they all go on about the wildlife when shit like this is a bigger danger.”
Got it? Good. Now go buy a jerry can or a better GPS…