Whether you are single and ready to
swipe mingle or are in the midst of a long term relationship, knowing how to attract women (or your better half) with your social media presence remains a crucial skill.
After all: no matter how good an impression you make on your first date, if Tinder bae’s friends alert her to the fact that your ex appears in every second one of your posts (or if they find the only thing you care about in life is “getting on the piss”) then you’re going to have a hard time securing a second rendez vous.
Likewise, even if your “real life” rapport with your partner is stronger than The Rock’s triceps, if you have a dodgy social media game, her viciously protective grandmother and besties might start setting her up on blind dates with “the nice man” they met in the supermarket.
Suffice to say, in this day and age, cultivating a strong social media presence is almost as important as knowing how to pass the handbag test. But how does one do it? With the help of science, of course.
More specifically: a new study, conducted by the University of Carnegie Mellon, which found that even though sharing information online normally does more harm to your relationship than good, if you consistently include your partner in said posts, the negative effect is reversed.
“If you’re in a relationship and like to share details about your life on social media, do yourself a favour and include your partner. It will probably help your personal life,” (Science Daily).
As reported by Science Daily, “They (the scientists from Carnegie Mellon) compared how posting personal information online affected intimacy and satisfaction in online and offline contexts, romantic relationships and friendships, and when the partner posted about themselves versus the relationship as a whole.”
They found that when one member of a couple shared lots of personal information with their friends on social media, it negatively impacted their partner’s “feelings of intimacy” in the relationship. In other words: if you share every detail of your life on Facebook, your partner will feel left out (or embarrassed on your behalf).
On the other hand, the study also found that if you include your significant other in these posts, “Perhaps as confirming a relationship status online or posting a photo together,” suggests Omri Gillath, co-author of the study, they found that it, “Counters the negative effects of online disclosure, increasing the feelings of intimacy and satisfaction… (which) validates the relationship.”
So there you have it: if you are in a relationship, either don’t post incessantly, or include your partner in your posts. As for those that are not in a relationship, but still keen to be seen as attractive, here’s what you need to do.
Rule number one: be good looking (or maximise how good you look, by being selective about the photos you post), but don’t—and this is important—don’t show it off. Women like good looks, but they find it hard to take a “selfie-a-day” man seriously.
Rule number two: if you’re looking for a long term relationship, don’t stress over your aesthetic features: study after study has confirmed that while women choose ‘hotter’ guys for flings, they fall for other qualities in life partners.
Rule number three: showcase your sense of humour: whether it’s a well timed quip on your mate’s new display photo or a hilarious Instagram bio, this is far more attractive than arguing with flat earthers and anti-vaxxers into the early hours of the morning. Even though this scarcely needs proving, here’s a study that shows how helpful a good sense of humour is in attracting a partner.
If all else fails, include photos (casually, not boastfully) of your furry friends (which studies show can increase a man’s short term attractiveness) or of yourself undertaking risk taking activities (if your sky diving license is still valid).