It’s a question that has plagued men for centuries, with the vast majority thinking they know the answer. But alas, that is seldom true.
In short, the main difference between cockiness and confidence, as this Reddit post explains is, “Cockiness is acting like you own the place. Confidence is just acting like you’ve been there before.”
Dating used to be simple: you flicked a look across the bar and hoped someone’s knees buckled. These days though, your soul-mate-across-the-room has hordes of suiters leaping out of his or her phone, ready to replace you should your ‘hilarious’ one-liners turn out to be trash.
This means that your attitude needs to be ‘on point’. And, as Reddit’s 89.1k dating community recently decided, nothing is a bigger turn off than someone who consistently veers over the fine line between confidence and cockiness – in either direction – like a drunken giraffe.
The user who posted the advice said many men don’t know the difference between being confident and cocky. And in a world that encourages men to always (appear) to know what they are doing (see: James Bond), and a virtual reality (see: Instagram) in which athletes like Floyd Mayweather flaunt enough bling to fund a small rogue nation, we’re not surprised.
intelligent men are attractive as hell until…..they become cocky and rude
— tahaneeshauki (@tahaneeshauki) 23 May 2019
The user then illustrated his point: “If you’re at a club and want to buy rounds for everyone as a flex, do it without announcing it. Act as though it’s something you just do. If you drive a nice car, don’t rev it up in the parking lot, and don’t even mention it until she asks about it, even after she sees it.”
“If you bench a lot or dominate a sport, bring up only that you do it, then let her find out on her own from Instagram/whatever how impressive you are.”
“You need to be jaded by your own special attributes,” he continued, “Because you’re always looking forward and on to becoming better, not constantly reflecting on yourself as if you’ve peaked.” Wise words. Though we’d argue you should be like this for you, not just to score a date.
Regardless of what we think, the Reddit community added their
- “If you need to tell people how great you are then you are not great. Greatness doesn’t need to be said, it is only seen and known.”
- “Don’t aim to impress. Be impressive.”
- “The loudest one in the room is usually the weakest.”
- “Money talks, but wealth whispers.”
- “Any man who must say ‘I am the king’ is no true King.”