Dating is a marathon, not a sprint – and it can be incredibly easy to trip up before you get to the finish line.
You pass the hurdles of finding someone cool, having a great conversation either in person or online, biting the bullet and asking someone out, and then finally meeting up… Just to find that you don’t really click.
There’s nothing worse than being stuck on a bad date. You don’t want to look like a dick and wrap things up too early, but you also don’t want to be enduring an hour or two of small-talk when you know already that things aren’t going to progress to a second date. What do you do?
Enter, as we like to call it, ‘tryst timing’: a dating trick that we’re not sure if it’s a stroke of genius or completely awful move.
This now-removed Reddit thread revealed a sneaky way to get out of a bad date that doubles as a way to make yourself look good on a good date.
“If you need an easy out for any date, set a 37-minute alarm with a ringtone,” user /u/Halituth advised.
“If you two are vibing, ignore it, [but] if you’re ready / need to get out, pretend to answer [your phone] and make up a believable story.”
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37 minutes may seem like a random number, but we reckon it actually makes a lot of sense. The fact that it’s arbitrary makes it seem more believable, and 37 minutes gives you more than enough time to work out whether the person is worth persevering for.
The first 10 minutes of any date is likely to be a bit awkward, even if there’s good chemistry: you’re nervous, you’re ordering food, you’re flustered because you’ve arrived too early or late, and so on. 37 minutes is also not so long that if the date’s a trainwreck you haven’t suffered for too long.
Alternatively, if the date is going well, by ignoring the alarm and continuing on, it subtly says to the other person that 1) you’re cool or busy enough to have social engagements and 2) you’re giving them your full attention – and making time for people is sexy.
Yet we can’t help but feel that ‘tryst timing’ is essentially dishonest. The /r/dating_advice mods appear to think so, hence why they removed the thread in the first place.
Even if it’s immediately apparent that it’s going to be a bad date without any hope of salvaging it, you at least need to treat the other party with enough respect to say ‘hey, I don’t think this is going to work’. Honestly is always the best policy, and if it’s simply a case of you not feeling it, you should communicate that.
On the other hand, it could be a great ‘escape route’ if the date is straight-up dangerous or truly uncomfortable. Having a good excuse to leave up your sleeve might be a way to stay safe.
The jury’s still out on whether ‘tryst timing’ is manipulative or just a savvy insurance policy against bad dates. All we’ll say is trsyt time responsibly.