Wine Banned In Australian Beachside Town

Goons of Doom.

Goon sacks have been (partially) banned in Geraldton, a beachside town in Western Australia. This has come after the iconic spew-your-guts-out beverage was blamed for an increase in alcohol propelled aggression.

Acting senior sergeant Stuart Gerreyn from Geraldton Police Station told local media there had been a spike in violence and anti-social behaviour by the foreshore, especially near the movies and the basketball court.

Speaking to Geraldton Guardian, he said: “There is no particular day of the week or time of day when this is happening, it is just basically from when the bottle shops open to when it gets dark.”

“People are buying their goon bags, drinking them and going back and buying another one.”

“Other regions have their own issues with alcohol consumption in public places, but we would like to try get on top of it before it becomes a major issue for us,” he added.

The ban comes in the form of a five-day trial, which is reportedly set to remain in place from Thursday until midnight next Tuesday.

The banned goon sacks are the iconic Aussie coming-of-age beverages Fruity Lexia and Tawny Port wines (in their 4L forms).

PerthNow reports that “a minimum price of $15 cask has been imposed on all other 4L cask wines and people will be limited to being able to buy one 2L cask wine per day.”

The 5-day ban doesn’t apply to tourists who plan on drinking outside the town, and “similar exemptions are available for mine site operators and farmers who don’t plan on drinking in or near Geraldton,” reports.

It’s also worth pointing out that today is April Fool’s Day. Though The Australian, PerthNow, and The Daily Mail have all reported on this news, and though it seems legit, we’re still over here half expecting the sergeant to come out later and say it’s a joke…

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