What would you do for a sumptuous bite of The Big Apple?
We’ve discussed subwaying, jibing and even beard baiting, but not once have we got close to figuring out the secret to dating in New York.
A series of Instagram stories by 29-year-old Australian model Monika Clarke, who lives there, recently prompted us to have another crack.
Clarke is recently single. She also, as we reported earlier this month, has been taking to Instagram to field various questions about her break up, dating and social media.
During her escapades, Clarke shed a ray of light on how to burrow into The Big Apple’s dating scene.
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On how to approach a woman, she said: “I’m no pick up master, but I will say this: in NY if you see a girl out just approach her. If she doesn’t vibe back don’t be offended [and don’t persist]. But don’t be one of those guys who stares at a girl all night, goes home, then DM’s her.”
“Just have the balls to say hi.”
For a rendez vous, Clarke’s best New York date idea is: “keep it simple; take her to dinner where the music isn’t too loud and you can sit in a corner, have some drinks and just get to know each other.”
As for Clarke specifically, the Australian model told DMARGE, “Humor is a big thing for me. And someone who appreciates sarcasm.”
“I don’t care about the watch you’re wearing while you’re holding your car steering a wheel. I want to see you enjoying time with your friends and family.”
In terms of meeting people in the first place Clarke recommends “go[ing] to a coffee place” or using Bumble.
Also, despite scenes of Manhattan’s wealthy sipping Proseccco with protesters in the background causing some to argue New York has lost the plot, Monika reminded us on Instagram New Yorkers are a tough bunch.
“Times are stressful, times are tough but New York is going to pull through.”
Various Reddit threads and internet opinion pieces suggest dating in New York is easier for men than women.
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One popular thread entitled, “Is dating in NYC really that terrible” claims there is a gender imbalance in New York, with the general consensus being NYC is “an AMAZING city to build a tribe of friends and further your career but a terrible place to look for love.”
“For men its like shooting fish in a barrel. The number of amazing, smart, successful women way outpaces the number of men of similar caliber,” one commenter wrote.
Another Reddit user said this might be down to “the types of jobs available in the city,” with “lots of jobs in fashion, PR, the arts in NYC but not lots of STEM careers compared to other big cities.”
“There are certainly finance guys but engineers and programmers are few and far between. From a career perspective it’s just a narrower field for men.”
Another challenge, according to another commenter, is the abundance.
“The toughest part about dating in NYC is that there are so many choices, which leads people to pretty much behave in the flightiest way by default.”
“This is particularly troubling for the ladies, since the demographics tip in the men’s favor in terms of sheer numbers. But numbers alone don’t tell the whole story. According to numerous women I’ve talked to about this (and I’ve had a lllllllottttttt of conversations about this) the actual toughest part of dating here isn’t the quantity, it’s the quality.”
“Back in my single days (before 2014) I was meeting people both online and IRL and it could only be described as an embarrassment of riches. I could literally walk outside a bar, toss a rock in the air and it would land on an attractive, motivated, employed, interesting, funny woman. It is tough not to find one, they’re honestly everywhere.”
“For women, however, the opposite is sometimes true. The number of stories I heard from my female friends about guys they went on dates with who were ‘in between jobs’ or not really motivated by anything, or expecting her to do the lion’s share of work in the relationship, etc. is pretty astounding.”