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The Hot New Way To Get A Hit Is… Snortable Chocolate?

Coco Loko claims to provide an endorphin rush, a serotonin rush, euphoric energy, and calm focus.

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Research says that chocolate makes you smarter, but this sounds downright daffy. No longer satisfied by the energy rush of caffeine, a Florida-based company has invented a snortable chocolate powder they say provides a legal, drug-free energy hit that lasts 30-60 minutes.

Coco Loko comes from the twisted mind of Nick Anderson, the 29-year-old founder of Legal Lean, a drug-free version of the codeine cough syrup mixture often referred to as “lean.” Anderson claims he tried snortable chocolate after hearing that it was a fad in Europe, then invested US$10,000 in creating his own version of a “raw cacao snuff.”

“At first, I was like, ‘Is this a hoax?,’” he told The Washington Post. “And then I tried it and it was like, okay, this is the future right here.”

Anderson’s concoction took two months to perfect. “Some versions, they just burned too much,” he said. “Other times they looked gray and dull, or didn’t have enough stimulants.”

Eventually he settled on a blend of cacao powder, gingko biloba, taurine and guarana that produces “almost like an energy-drink feeling, like you’re euphoric but also motivated to get things done.”

The Legal Lean website promises an “endorphin rush”, a “serotonin rush”, “euphoric energy”, and “calm focus” – all without the side effects of a sugar crash.

Coco Loko hit US shelves last month, but snort at your own risk. The powder is not approved by the Food and Drug Administration, and plenty of doctors have questioned the risks of inhaling chocolate through your nose.

“There are a few obvious concerns,” said Dr. Andrew Lane, director of the Johns Hopkins Sinus Center, to The Washington Post. “First, it’s not clear how much of each ingredient would be absorbed into the nasal mucus membranes. And, well, putting solid material into your nose — you could imagine it getting stuck in there, or the chocolate mixing with your mucus to create a paste that could block your sinuses.”

Watching Dr. Lane pull chocolate paste out of sinuses is the new watching Dr. Pimple Popper squeeze out a cyst. What a time to be alive.

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