It’s 2018 and the dating world has changed. Hook up apps like Bumble, which prevent men from making the first move, aim to level the playing field for women, and sexist attitudes are (slowly) disappearing. However, a few habits—like a man paying for his dates’ dinner—remain. This has caused much debate, with some individuals arguing it’s a friendly cultural vestige to maintain, and others calling it a form of unconscious sexism to be eradicated.
Now though, there’s now a third school of thought; one that argues instead of looking a gift horse in the mouth (or throwing your Mocktail in his face) you should see what goodies lie on his back, scoff them, send him on his way, then seek another wandering stallion. These people call themselves “sneaters,” and although they could be of any chromosome—apart from rare exceptions—they tend to be women (think about it: it’s a lot easier to pull off this manoeuvre if the social pressure is on you not to pay).
Essentially, “sneating” is when you agree to a date without any intention of giving your ‘match’ a chance, and every intention of leaving them the bill. Although the trend has been around, in some shape or form, ever since devious people with negligible consciences have existed (read: forever), today’s “flick through” dating culture has made it easier to get away with than ever, so now it’s on the rise.
Dating coaches have slammed the practice as “disingenuous” and “a waste of time,” warning that sneating, “Ruins (dating) for the genuine people out there.” It is also, as Australian dating expert Samantha Jayne told Femail, one of the reasons some men prefer to split the bill on the first date.
She also pointed out that although being bought a meal doesn’t mean you owe your date anything, that doesn’t change the fact that you shouldn’t go out with someone with the express intention of getting a free meal, then bailing.
“Time is something that you can never get back so it is a waste being sneaky when you could be spending time with someone that you genuinely want to connect with.”
“If you happen to go on your date and think you have zero interest, then be polite, keep things short and sweet, and keep things simple,” she added.
“You just never know who they might know!”
So how do you know if you’ve been “sneated on?” After all: maybe your date had good intentions, and you just didn’t click? Well, as Samantha told Femail, these are the signs.
- Your date has made no effort in their appearance and their conversations with you seem very short
- Your date won’t accept anything but an expensive restaurant
- Your date orders the most expensive meal on the menu and continues to order, entree, mains, dessert and wine without even engaging with you
- Your date doesn’t give you eye contact, there’s no warmth and they don’t ask you questions