If you’ve ever flirted all night with a guy only for him to go home with another chica then listen up — this one’s for you. The ultimate guide to a man’s… heart. Or at least — pointers on how to avoid driving him crazy.
From the repository of wisdom that is Reddit’s AskMen forum, unanimous consensus was reached on the following points. Thus, we bring you, the male dating behaviours men wish women understood (if you’re a guy, check out this article, on the dating hints women wish men would pick up on).
When We Are Smiley, Nervous Or Asking A Lot Of Questions, We Are Trying To Flirt Without Flirting
If a guy is not confident enough to add you on Facebook and start posting fire-emojis under your Instagram photos (let’s face it, this is probably a good thing), he may try a more subtle approach to his courtship. This can also involve light teasing, remembering small details and trying too hard to create ‘in-jokes’ with you.
When We Gently Bring Up An Issue, We Are Hoping To Start A Relaxed Discussion — Not A War
While being too proud to discuss sensitive topics rationally is clearly something both genders struggle with, one man said that his SO was so defensive that she would start an argument every time he brought up an issue in their relationship, regardless of how ~chill~ he was in bringing it up.
This often comes from insecurity or the ingrained societal perception that women are objects to be pursued and held up on a pedestal, prompting one commenter to say: “The relationship should be the prize, not the person.”
“One of the biggest turn offs in a budding or mature relationship for me is a partner that doesn’t pull their own weight.”
We’re Oblivious, Not Disinterested
“If you have a problem with me, just say it, cause I won’t be able to guess,” one user said in a comment which received 11.6k upvotes. In other words, if your partner is kicking back playing video games, he probably doesn’t realise something is wrong.
Unless you tell him.
Before you let your boyfriend rub this article in your face though, feel free to show him this one, which details how men need to be more intuitive.
The solution? Tell your beau, bae or toy boy what’s bugging you, give him a chance to sort it out; then — if he doesn’t — kiss his ass adios.
But remember: just as women are sometimes unfairly diagnosed with ‘resting b*tch face’, men are often diagnosed with ‘resting idiocy syndrome’. While every situation is different, your partner may not be pissing you off on purpose; he could just be chilling out.
We Find Your Empty Tinder Bio Hard To Handle
One man had a useful insight for any single gal sick of hearing the same Google-searched icebreakers from her dating app suiters.
“Put something in your bio so I don’t need to write a generic one-liner.”
We Get Confused When You Show Extreme Patience, But Don’t Make A Move
One user’s story says it all…
“When I was in college, I had a girl from down the hall sit up watching me play rollercoaster tycoon until 3am or so. She sat there for like 5 or 6 hours watching me play. Turns out she wanted to have sex, (but) had just assumed that I would be done playing ‘any minute’…”
We Get Upset When You Assume We Have Hearts Of Granite
“Be upfront. Be direct. Initiate things. Cuddle.”
If a guy sidles up to you during a movie, it doesn’t just mean he wants popcorn. And no, before your mind goes all “Netflix & Chill” — he’s not necessarily after that either. Believe it or not, despite their oftentimes callous veneers, men are suckers for a bit of affection, cuddles and spooning (as long as you find a position that doesn’t result in a week-long dead arm).
We Love It When You Chase Us
“Don’t be afraid to make the first move, it is very appreciated.”