Think first dates are nerve-wracking? You must never have felt the sticky armpits and dry mouth of waiting for an escort to arrive at your hotel room.
While statistics show relatively few of us have had this ‘Holden Caulfield’ type moment, attitudes towards sex work are changing, and the number of men who see private escorts like SamanthaXreal is on the rise.
However, even as we recognise the potential for sex workers to be free (rich) agents — and the stereotype that anyone working in the sex industry must be exploited is ever more challenged — many men still have no idea about ‘escort etiquette.’
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Whether you’re seeking an escort for the emotional connection or the sex tips there are a number of rules to follow that will ensure your night in silken armour won’t think you an asshole (and to help avoid any misunderstandings).
In an exclusive interview with Samantha X, author of “Back On Top” and one of Australia’s most high profile private escorts, we learned, “It’s remarkably simple to be a good client, yet it’s amazing how many smart, educated men stuff up.”
“If you want to be number one on a private escort’s list, follow these simple rules.”
Ok. That’s it. Foreplay over. Here are the simple rules you need to follow before, during and after seeing an escort.
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Be Polite & Respectful
As Samantha told us, “When making contact, I always ask for name, age and profession. Not because I judge, but because I want to see if you are able to follow simple instructions.” In other words: be a pain in the arse to deal with at this stage and you won’t make it to the next.
Be Reliable and Punctual
One of Samantha’s pet peeves, being late (or not showing up) is rude in any profession or — for that matter — interaction: “If you say you’re going to be there, be there.”
Don’t Act Surprised When They Ask For A Deposit
Something men new to the game might not realise is that “a lot of escorts now ask for deposits to cull time wasters.” Samantha’s advice? Don’t balk at this: “Believe me, no escort is going to run away to the Bahamas with your $150.”
It’s not rocket science but — in terms of first impressions — being “clean and hygienic” is as important as a space shuttle’s afterburners.
“Have a shower just before your booking and don’t think a wash eight hours prior is enough.”
“Oh and guys,” Samantha added, “use soap — water alone isn’t enough.”
Don’t Be Patronising
“If you write ‘Hey,’ or “you available hun?’ — don’t expect a response,” Samantha told us. “Escorts don’t sit on a bed in lingerie just in case you call,” so give notice “in a properly worded message.”
“I once went to a booking and the client ‘forgot’ to tell me he was in a wheelchair,” Samantha told us. “Not that I would have minded one iota, but I could have at least mentally prepared. Be transparent.”
Don’t Be Shady
“Don’t call from private numbers.”
Don’t Be A Gossip
Believe it or not but, according to Samantha, “Men are gossips!” So don’t reveal intimate details about other escorts if you can help it.
Don’t Be Nosy
“Don’t ask too much about her private life, and stop asking what her real name is. What does it matter?” Oh, and do not ask to see her “outside of here.”
Top tip from Samantha that applies both to escort encounters and casual hookups with anyone: “Don’t be a dick and whinge about using a condom.” Or, better yet, “Don’t be a dick full stop.”
Bring A Gift
“If you turn up with a little gift, you will be rewarded, and if you smell nice, arrive on time, leave on time and text her a thank you after, that’s very sweet.”
“Most men are very sweet… nervous, but sweet!”
The most important thing, according to Samantha, is to “be yourself… and [to be] respectful.”
“Most clients are gentlemen, but I’ve sure had my fair share of dickheads. Luckily now I can spot them a mile off — just by their first few text messages, I have a theory: If a man is a dickhead, he will give it away pretty quickly without realising it. There are, of course, different levels of idiots. I’ve had clients who have been violent (luckily just once), and I walked out on a client who talked to me rudely.”
“Clients are rarely annoying,” Samantha continued, “but the ones that irritate me are the ones who will push for extra time, or try to rev up the intimacy just as time is over. I am confident enough in myself now to cut the booking but it’s taken a few years! I am lucky enough to pick and choose who I see, so I don’t see the annoying ones anymore!”