Guys, fellas, lads, mi amigos. When it comes to getting down and dirty with a lady (or gent), even in the most casual sense, there should always be a mutual understanding that you will both see to each others’ needs. If you’re slightly bamboozled and wondering what the hell we’re talking about, then you’ll do well to take a look at this Reddit thread, posted just recently, but one that has already received a few hundred comments.
It was started by a 35-year-old, recently divorced female, who is just looking for some ‘fun’ to help her see through the post-divorce period. But while she’s been able to, fairly easily it seems, find some guys to help satisfy her, she’s felt anything but. Why? Because guys, it seems we can be a damn bit selfish.
How so? You may ask. The lady in question explains that even though her most recent conquest was ‘finished’ relatively quickly, it wasn’t that which bothered her, but rather “…that was it. He was done and that was it. Folks, he did not touch my [you get the gist] at all. Like nothing, nadda. Seriously.”
“The other two encounters have been similar, but they at least explored my beautiful garden a bit! Jesus.”
And while our damsel in sexual distress has received a few comments saying they’ve found communication to be key, she goes on to say, “I did communicate. They all talked a big game. No more dating apps for me!”
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Of course, in the wake of the current pandemic, communication will need to play an even more prominent role going forward with any casual hook up, but that doesn’t mean finding out what your new fling likes and doesn’t like should take a back seat.
One of the many responses in agreement with the OP adds yet more weight to the argument that all a FWB partner wants is some attention in return. They say, “I have a pretty large sample size to speak of (of all ages mind you, I’m talking age 20-50) and it’s RARE to find a guy who will even TRY to give you pleasure. I don’t hate em if they can’t get me there, if they at least make an effort I consider it a successful date.”
Plenty more of the comments stand in solidarity too, with many women – and men – regaling similar stories. However the majority of the time they’ve found that if they’re a bit pickier with their casual encounters and speak openly about sex and what they like or dislike, the results are generally much better.
And guys, in the name of all that’s holy, don’t big up your sexual prowess. Unless you have documented proof that you’re the world’s best lover, don’t try to make out you are to your next online match or the next person you pick up at a bar. If you don’t know what they’re into, it will only go one way.