The Playbook For The Modern Man

‘World First’ COVID Sanitizer Guaranteed To Kill Germs & Your Love Life

Prevents COVID transmission as well as pregnancies.

Before we were all worried about the spread of COVID-19, the most pressing infection control concern most men had was making sure you don’t get an STI or someone pregnant when you sleep around.

Now, with research having discovered traces of the virus in people’s semen, many are concerned that their casual ‘linen shuffling’ days may now be over (or putting them at risk).

Never fear: an enterprising Australian company has come up with an antibacterial prophylactic that will help prevent the spread of 99.9% of germs (and 100% of pregnancies).

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OrbitKey, a Melbourne design firm famous for their handy key management systems, have developed a retractable hand sanitiser holder. The novel design includes a clip you can attach to the hand sanitiser of your choice, connected to a retractable reel you can connect to your belt. Like a chastity belt.

Guaranteed to keep COVID (and women) away. Image: OrbitKey

It’s also extremely cost-effective, only costing a paltry $22.90. A 60-pack of condoms from Chemist Warehouse would set you back $32, so with this you save yourself about 10 big ones (and this lasts a lifetime).

That’s enough to buy one of those fun mobile phone holders for your belt, too, just to doubly ensure no one comes near you.

We applaud OrbitKey’s dedication to preventing the spread of coronavirus, as well as making sure that Australian singles really take the time to get to know each other.

Sound like the product you need to keep that ladies away? Check out OrbitKey’s web store.

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