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Addiction, Lies & Shame: How Porn Is F*cking With Australian Men 

“Internet porn is killing men’s sexual performance to the point where sexual enhancement drugs no longer work.”

Giving up any addiction is hard, but giving up porn is one stiff challenge. Literally.

Although it starts as an ‘innocent’ indulgence, many guys are now being screwed by their kleenex-enabled habits. Especially those that grew up with high-speed internet. Although most people kick the habit once they grow out of their teens, some don’t (or can’t). And statistics show pornography addiction is on the rise.

Porn addiction can have lasting effects on men’s sexual performance, and in severe cases, inhibit their ability to emotionally bond with future partners. No shit—this isn’t good. One need only look around at the stories floating around on Reddit, or have a chat with a porn-addicted mate who can’t get it up with a real partner, to see that the adult entertainment industry is f*cking with Australian men.

In light of this we had a chat with Samantha Jayne, Channel 10’s relationship advisor to The Bachelor, to discuss why so many Australian men are addicted to porn, what its effects are, and how to break the habit.

Why Are Australian Men Addicted To Porn?

Although Samantha acknowledged the “stressful pace” of modern life plays a role, she told us, “Porn is highly responsible for the addiction of masturbation.” The problem with this, especially during your formative years, is that excessive use can change your brain chemistry, “Causing major issues in relationships, reducing confidence levels, increasing anxiety and impairing sexual performance.”

“Some people use porn to manage their stress levels—and masturbation and porn go hand in hand.”

Whilst teenage boys have been “pleasuring themselves” for centuries, and then, “Relearning what it’s like to have sex with a partner,” Samantha says that porn has made this process of “relearning” harder. According to her, “The problem is that high speed internet has caused significantly more damage to mens’ sexual health than previous generations who engaged in, say, magazines.”

“This overstimulation results in a heightened expectation of self-gratification rather than an intense experience of togetherness—and that equals bad sex.”

What Are The Effects Of Porn Addiction

This one’s fairly straightforward. Apart from any addiction being a weakness to get over, “Several studies have found that internet porn in particular is killing men’s sexual performance, to the point where sexual enhancement drugs no longer work,” (Samantha Jayne).

Even worse, “Long term use of porn,” she says, “Can inhibit a person’s ability to emotionally connect with another person, leading to a very superficial relationship with a lack of true intimacy and feelings of isolation and emptiness.”

This has resulted in us as a species, “Getting worse at staying present (as we are) so caught up in this virtual world.” And when we stop connecting we stop intimacy, “And as a result it impacts the quality of sex.”

Sex Tips For Porn Addicts

“If you find yourself thinking of other sexual fantasies to ‘get off’ during sex, try to come back to planet earth,” Samantha says. According to her, “There is no greater gift in life than being absolutely in the moment with someone. During sex, look at your partner, look at each other in they eyes, sure it might be uncomfortable at first but keep it going, persist, match each others breathing pattern to build rapport, this intensifies the connection and chemistry.”

“Pay attention to your partners beauty, focus on relaxing, notice how every sensation feels during sex… experience the full moment.”

Samantha also recommends you, “Focus on pleasuring your partner, tell her how good things feel, tell her what you want—and ask her what she wants… slow things down and enjoy the simple pleasures by quieting the mind.”

“If you want to stay in the moment during sex it’s up to you to make it happen—by making your reality more exciting than your fantasy.”

How Does One Kick The Habit?

With his botched rollout of the NBN Turnbull is doing his best to reduce your access to porn, but in the meantime, here’s Samantha’s advice.

Step one: acknowledgement, “At first porn can appear to be self-soothing and bring about instant gratification. It can be used to mask uncomfortable feelings of anxiety, stress, depression, boredom and used to block out other unwanted emotional feelings and escape from reality, which may seem harmless at first. It’s not.”

Step two; “Replace the old negative bad habit (porn) with something more positive. Exercise, meditation, yoga all come to mind. Or simply get out more and spend time with real people.”

“Another tip is to block specific websites on your computer and limit your time on the internet or—better still—don’t use the internet in private until you’ve kicked the habit, join a support group or get a counsellor.”

How Long Does It Take To Get Back To ‘Normal’?

According to Samantha, “The no porn for 90 days movement has found that for recovering addicts in their early 20’s, erectile health returns to normal within 4 – 5 months, whereas for older men in their 50’s, it takes about 2 months.”

Why is it the older man returns to normal function faster than a younger man? Because he has had less exposure to high speed internet when his brain was developing. Samantha told us, “Men’s dopamine and brain neuroplasticity levels peak from when they are a teen up until 22.”

“So exposure to extreme porn during this time has more negative consequences.” Luckily, however, it can still be reversed—even if it does take longer.

RELATED: Pornhub Reveals What Women Search For Around The World 

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