Cristiano Ronaldo is a football god. Millions worship him. That longing is not limited to his on-pitch abilities – part of being a superstar is the masses covet your hair. So when CR7 decided, late last year, to get a new ‘do,’ the follicular fallout was massive.
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Never have we cared so much about a man going from ‘short and gelled’ to ‘hipster undercut.’ In any case, Cristiano has been rocking the sides-shorn man-bun happily ever since. Then came along a pesky global pandemic: now he’s in the same perilous position we all find ourselves in: not having easy access to a barber.
As we reported last week, many Australian and American men have been turning to ‘home haircuts,’ the results of which have been horrific. But, being Cristiano Ronaldo, you’d think he’d be able to outdo them (like David Beckham, who chose the simple route of shearing it all off).
Alas, no: the five-time Ballon d’Or winner tried to maintain his complex man-bun undercut, and the results were, if not disastrous, average (admittedly I may be prejudiced against this style of haircut in the first place after trying to imitate it ruined my life).
In any case, it illustrates the pulse-quickening sensation involved in letting your partner chop your mop.