Australian Model Brutally Shuts Down Dick Pic Crusader

Simone Holtznagel
Simone Holtznagel For Guess
Simone Holtznagel For Guess

In the modern world of modelling where platforms such as Instagram can become your oyster, an ugly side often arises in the form of a male-driven phenomenon called the ‘Dick Pic’.

As a proven dating method with -0.5% chance of success, the Dick Pic is nothing new in the internet age. However for one Aussie model named Simone Holtznagel, the latest particular snap of Johnson she received via Instagram was one too many.

Johnson Senior decided to brazenly go where sleazy men rarely ventured, choosing a unique angle of an upturned shaft with berries, bell and hair all on show. There was no attempt at artistic curation. Sad face.

This is not how you win a woman’s heart

Needless to say the punishment from a notably outraged (but still witty) Holtznagel was swift. A meme in the form of Simon Cowell’s “It’s a no from me” meme was her only reply. Followed by a public shaming on her profile of 73,000 followers.

If you want to know how to really date an Instagram model, follow our comprehensive tips by seasoned comedian and lover extraordinaire, Ash Williams.