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Life Hacks That Could Improve Your Life Or Land You In Jail

“Don’t want to have a conversation with your ride-share service driver? Add in ‘pickup notes’ that you are deaf.”

From how to (politely) avoid having to talk to your Uber driver to how to get Youtube Premium for free, 566,000 Reddit users are currently discussing their favourite questionably legal life hacks. Some are ingenious, some are borderline unethical, and some are flat out illegal. So consider this recommended reading, but don’t take it as your life guide for the next two weeks (though if you ignore this advice and do, please report back in the comments and let us know how it went).

Get Storage Space In The Cloud For Free

Not willing to fork out for a new hard drive, or need extra capacity in your Google account? Reddit has the answer: “Buy a Chromebook, register it under your account, then return it.”

Ensure Break Up Dominance

Love your dog but not your S.O? The thread has a tip just for you: “Make sure you’re closer to your pet than your partner so you can increase your probability of keeping it after a break up or divorce.” Better safe than sorry, right?

Double Your Christmas Haul

A cutting edge life hack, this one proves technology really can be your friend: “Make your Christmas wish list entirely out of referral links. That way you get a $ percentage of what they spend on you, and you’ll be able to see what they’re getting you.”

Avoid Unwanted Spooning

“Trying to hook up with someone, but you don’t feel like staying the night, but you also don’t want to burn any bridges?” one grammatically (and presumably romantically) challenged user inquired. “Set an alarm on your phone with the same sound as your call tone about an hour after you plan to arrive.” Or just, y’know, be a decent human, stay the night, help yourself to brekky and never call him/her again.

End Your Share House Cold War

Perhaps the most ingenious life-hack of the whole thread: “Don’t feel like doing the dishes? Grab clean plates, make them wet, put them in the drying rack and tell your roommate to do the “other half” of the dishes.” No explanation required—pure gold.

Make Money Off Hipsters

“Buy items at the Dollar Tree that could be passed off as homemade and sell them on etsy for far more.” Illegal but effective.

Save On Your Health Insurance

If you aren’t keen to fork out for one of your body’s most critical faculties, there is a solution: “Need an eye check-up? Go to a place offering exams for Lasik surgery. It’s generally free and they are very thorough to make sure you are safe for surgery. Then bail when they are done.” Or just vote for a government that provides public health care…

Get A Therapist For Free

“Need some female attention?” one user asks, “Call an IKEA help center and ask them to help with the most complicated build. They’ll talk to you for quite a long time and it’s free.” If that’s not winning at life I’m not sure what is. Who needs friends when you’ve got the dulcet tones of a Swedish Ikea officer?

Tell Unbelievably Believable Lies

Ethically questionable at best, deeply immoral at worst, this life hack will help you never get caught in a lie: “When lying about petty/unimportant matters, pretend to be a horrible liar. When you need to lie about big or important things, people will think you’re not lying since they believe you to be a bad liar.” Although we recommend you having your life together enough that you don’t need to deceive—we have to admit: this is as devious as it is useful.

Get An Extra Day In Your Life Back

“When developing documents for work, use ‘Save As’ every 20-30 minutes and make many versions. Then, when management asks you for your progress, send them an old version. This will let you spend days doing nothing, while management thinks you’re making steady progress.” If you hate your job this life-hack is genius. But if you find it that attractive maybe you should consider getting a new job…

Blackmail Your Family & Friends

“Save all the rude, cringy, and politically incorrect Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter posts of your enemies and friends. You can use it as a weapon against them many decades from now to ruin their family, career, and any chance they have for public office.” If you care nothing for the closest people in your life this one’s a no brainer…

Get Your Favourite Clothes At A Discount

Want to save money on hot key items at big retailers? One Reddit user’s top tip is to, “Damage the box of the product you wish to purchase and ask for ~10% off. Typically, they will give you a discount to get the “damaged” product off their shelves.”

Increase Your Chances Of Landing That Dream Job

When applying for a job in a small/medium sized company, most recruiting firms will tell you to do your research into the business. However, if you are truly devious, you will, “Do extensive research on all the CEO’s personal social media.” This enables you to enrich your resume with some similar interests, or use this information during your interview to have an edge over other candidates.”

Get YouTube Premium For Free

Sure, globalisation gets a bad rap, but as one Redditor points out: “You can take advantage of Russia’s shitty economy to get a cheap Google Play Music & YouTube Premium subscription (~3 USD/month).” Here’s how. Step one: “Make sure GPM and/or YT Premium are available in your region.” Step two: get a Russian IP address (“You can try a VPN but I haven’t had luck with them—usually shows either a Ukraine connection or regular American prices. Your best bet is using Tor with a Russian exit node”). Step three: “Go to the YouTube Premium sign-up page, it should show 199 RUB/month.” Step four: “Sign up by entering your card info (can’t use PayPal) and use a fake Russian address generator for the billing address. Viola. You can now disconnect from your VPN or Tor and you’ll be able to use your subscription without it.” If you have to ask whether this is legal you already know the answer—just don’t come crying to us when the FBI/KGB come knocking…

Admit Something To A Friend Without Them Freaking Out

“Need to apologize or confess something to a buddy? Do it in front of a girl he’s trying to impress; he’ll turn into the chillest guy ever.” Smart—but we have to question what he’ll be like afterwards…

Get A Free Coffee

This one’s a tried and tested dick move for those that consider themselves too good to wait in line at Starbucks. “Go to the part where people pick up their coffee and tell the barista you’ve been waiting for 15 minutes for your beverage and you hadn’t gotten it yet. They will tend to you first and you will get a free drink.” Unless you despise your fellow humans we implore you not to try this one.

Avoid Having To Talk To Your Uber Driver

“Don’t want to have a conversation with your ride-share service driver? Add in ‘pickup notes’ that you are deaf.”

Help Your Kids Develop Essential Life Skills

“Want your kids to become good liars? Overreact about every little thing they do growing up.”

Get Free Food At The Airport

“If you are stuck in an airport, you can usually get a free snack or drink by going to the gates of delayed flights.” Old school, but works.

Get A Day Off Work, While Still Being Considered Hardworking

Anyone can pull a sickie, but not anyone can get brownie points at the same time. Here’s how: “If you really want the day off work, saying you vomited while in the shower gives the impression you were making the effort to get ready, were caught off guard, and is personal/pathetic enough to warrant a pardon without too much questioning.” There’s a fine line between gross and genius; this walks it nicely.

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